Monday 20 October 2014

Lost in Translation - what they really mean

We often hear what others say but do we actually understand?  Here are tips to getting clear translation and free advice on good responses.

When a boyfriend says, referring to an ex, "She means nothing to me!"
translation - he's fixated on this woman, drop him like a hot potato

When a girlfriend says. "My previous boyfriend had many faults but he was generous."
translation - she will bleed you of every penny you have

When a man says, "I am a man of few words"
translation - I have nothing interesting to say

When she says, "Why do you always look at other women?"
translation - beware the green eyed monster, unless you enjoy control, get your ass out of there!

When anyone says any of the following they mean the same

  1. 'Sorry I forgot my wallet."
  2. "Sorry, I don't have change."
  3. "Didn't you say you'd get this?"

translation - they are a mean bastard and you will be expected to pay all bills and be grateful for doing so.

When she asks, "Does my ass look big in this?"
Translation - Do you think I'm getting fat?  Do not tell her she takes after her huge Mum and sisters.  Do not agree.  The only response that is fairly safe is to complain bitterly that she has lost too much weight recently.

When he says, "I've had to sort out your kids!"
translation - he has been agressive towards your children because he is angry with you.

When she says, "I think I've got the prettiest hands."
translation - the rest of me is extraordinarily ugly and in comparison the hands look good.

When he says, "I've a fine physic!"
tranlation - This is always said by the over endowed to those who think otherwise.

When he/she says "You never listen to what I say!"
translation - is invariably said by those whose conversation is akin to a dentist drill.

When he says, "Things may be tricky now but...."
translation - means there is much more bullshit ahead.  Whatever rapids you are encountering now are nothing to the drop ahead.

When he says, "Do you want to finish that?"
translation - the beggar is after your food, fork him immediately!

When he says, "You are very clever!"
translation - I cannot stand intelligent women, dumb down or else!

When he says, "Why have you got that face on?"
translation - this means that you no longer have the right to certain expressions.  The only correct response is a beeline for the nearest exit.

He says, "For goodness sake, for once can you make a decision yourself!"
translation - usually said by an over controlling freak who  is bored by having total control.

She says, "Your trousures are caught up in your socks."
translation -  why did I end up with the smuck?

He says, "I like your hair the way it was."
translation - don't change a hair of your head without consulting me beforehand

I am sure you have your own insights on what is behind the words we hear.  Sorry that on reading this, it came across as rather critical.  People sometimes mean exactly what they say, I am sure.

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