Killing students with pranks

I remember teaching in the chemistry lab in college, don’t ask why or how I ended up teaching a subject I know nothing about.  It is one of the perversities of my life that I always end up doing stuff that I am in no way trained to do.  Anyway, the class was about using a centrifuge and understanding how it worked and following basic safety rules.  So in a class about twenty I brought up students in pairs and explained how the centrifuge worked.  Showing them all the switches, how to lift the lid and put in samples in small tubes, balance them, then close the lid, lock it and turn it on.  When they turned it off I pointed out they needed to wait until the spinning had stopped completely before opening the device.  After nine pairs I was becoming bored with the same spiel.  Repeating the exact same words and actions again and again!  However, I had noticed that all the students were most nervous when opening the lid after the centrifuge had been spinning.  So for the last pair I waited until they reached in to open the lid and then screamed at the top of my voice.  The poor guy nearest to me nearly passed out.  He slumped against the bench and turned very pale.  I know, I know it was unforgiveable.  There was a shocked silence in the class and disbelief at what I had done.  There is no excuse for what I did, none.   I could have easily given someone a heart attack.  I don’t know what is wrong with me when I get bored there is a Jekyll and Hyde factor that takes over.  I have long said, to whoever will listen, I am not a fit person to be with young people.

There’ s a memory of being at school myself, so completely bored with the class that I remember thinking that an earthquake or alien invasion would really be preferable to this.  To this day whenever I see a line of school kids in uniform there is an uncontrollable emotion of delight that I no longer have to endure a class of any sort combined with a cruel thought of “suckers”!