Life of the spirit and the art of carpet cleaning

I contemplate my life, my purpose.

The floor is covered in pieces of dirt. 

Life sneaks through our fingers and drops its debris everywhere.

This carpet will need a good hoover today. 

At times, I feel a bit adrift and rudderless. 

Some of those spots on the carpet will need to be scrubbed after hoovering. 

Finding direction is hard when stationary in the water. 

It’s only when I start to make progress on the carpet. I will suddenly see how filthy the settee has become. 

Momentum is needed to achieve anything of worth in life. 

Perhaps I should make a list, to-do list 

1. hoover carpet 

2. clean spots on the carpet 

3. wipe down the settee

When I get started, I can make some adjustments in life as I go, these first steps are just the beginning!

1. Forgive everyone

2. Work on my own defects

3. Clean the rust from off my soul

Lessons learned in a dark A&E

Heartbroken by the rows of trolleys packed back to back in corridors at 2 am in a darkened A&E department. Most seem to hold an elderly patient grey-faced and loosely bandaged in a twisted blanket embalming the old and sick. Heads hang off necks too weak to support them. The trolleys are bereft of pillows with cold and plastic surfaces easier to wipe down and clean. Their inhabitants, if strong enough, repeatedly plead for pillows to any passing staff member. Pillows are banned now along with much of the expected humanity one would hope to find in a place of healing. 

They usually only end up here as a last desperate resort. When really in pain beyond endurance or unable to draw breathe properly, the elderly, like my mum at 89, break their daily vow never to go to hospital, and 999 is dialled. Mum’s ambulance had raced from Limavady to Ballymoney to collect her as Coleraine Hospital had all their available ambulances parked outside A&E unable to offload patients.   My Mum was shaking uncontrollably for hours with severe back pain, vomiting, and breathing fast shallow gasps of air until we eventually called the emergency services. 

The ambulance arrived in response to the call in just over half an hour and the dispatcher stayed on the call talking to me while we waited.  A team of three determined ambulance personnel arrived with loads of equipment and quickly checked measured blood and heart measurements. They administered pain relief and insisted on taking my mum to the hospital. They said there were just too many worrisome medical indicators and we reluctantly agreed. They decided to go to Antrim hospital because of the queues outside Coleraine A&E.  But when we arrived outside Antrim A&E there was a five-hour wait in the car park. My poor 89-year-old mother gasped in agony at the hardness of the stretcher in the back of the ambulance. The wait seemed never-ending, those trolleys are not designed for comfort. During that long and unbearable night, I was struck that so many elderly and vulnerable patients are lying for hours and hours waiting for help in such conditions. Some die on these hard-cold trolleys outside hospitals and it seems to go on getting worse and worse instead of being improved. We wouldn’t let a badly injured dog howling in pain sit in the back of the van outside a vet’s so why do we expect the vulnerable, the ill, and stoic elderly to endure such conditions?  

Shame on this system of abuse. Is it due to a lack of funding, gross incompetence, a lack of staff, shortage of beds or equipment, staff burnout, or GPs hiding in the trenches while emergency services face all the flack?  I have no idea, what is wrong with the system. I cannot fault the kind ambulance staff or the over-pressured hospital staff but it is not acceptable. Too many are in corridors or in the back of ambulance vans suffering pain and whatever we are doing is not fixing it. On my worst days, I wonder how truly awful everything will have to get before we throw off this strange stupor and make even small changes to improve these conditions. I know there are amazing souls working their hearts out to try and make a difference it’s just I just feel we need to do more than just applaud them.

When we had eventually entered A&E mum’s trolley was wheeled into a corridor filled with other patients on trolleys end to end like carriages of a train awaiting a missing engine.  In the nearby ward, there is a shouting angry man and there seems to be three staff remonstrating with him.  I think they want him to wear an oxygen mask but he doesn’t want it and shouts violently and aggressively, he pulls it off and the staff tries to reconnect it.  Their arguments go on hour after hour and there is a tiny part of me rather ashamed to resent that this nosy intoxicated patient is draining all the efforts of so many staff.  After all, the softly moaning old lady two trolleys away may need more help but is not getting much attention.  Another patient in the ward is a young teenager who has tried to commit suicide and two staff try to convince her to stay rather than discharge herself immediately.  Her father arrives and joins the team pleading that the results from blood tests need to be checked before she can leave.  She is dressed and standing close to the ward door trying to push past them as they valiantly encourage her to stay.  This discussion lasted a good 40 minutes and was conducted with a lot of shouting.  It seems that, like in most places, those that have the energy to protest louder get a lot more attention.  Even here in this world of sickness and pain, it is the noisy demanding patients that drain valuable resources their way.  The very ill and old have little energy or will to make such demands and just endure the lack of attention, the noise, and the disturbance.  

I stayed by my Mum all night, beside her trolley, on a plastic chair kindly provided by a night nurse.  In the early hours of the morning, I could rub her sore back, and whisper answers to her questions.  In this frightening and foreign place, we had each other.  My Mum hates hospitals and on the rare occasions, she has had to go in refuses to eat or drink and seems to withdraw into herself not speaking to staff.  She can lose so much of her body weight in days.  When the morning shift arrived, I was told to leave the A&E immediately.  

Perhaps if the health system all had looked efficient and professional I would have accepted this better.  But in the chaos of so many patients and shortage of staff, I felt that I was being asked to desert a loved one to uncertain unsteady hands.  I was told they would do some tests on my Mum and I needed to leave but when they finished the tests they no longer allowed me to enter the A&E.  I remonstrated with staff to no avail and waited in a closed hospital café restless like a dog that has left its post.  A nice passing nurse, from a different department, let me back in with her card and I found mum had been moved to a different alcove, she seemed more withdrawn and silent.  The nurse in charge found me back in her A&E and was understandably annoyed and insisted I leave immediately.  I am ashamed to say after an hour or so outside I followed a passing cleaner into A&E who kindly let me in behind her.  This time the head nurse was angrier to find me back again beside my Mum.  I felt like a loyal dog that was being chased from the side of its owner but even embarrassment and shame could not stop me from wanting to be there with mum.  I felt sorry for the already short-staffed A&E department that I was being so unreasonable.  But another part of me could not condone deserting my Mum.  That seemed an even larger more unforgivable wrong.  

I have no answers.  I know so many died alone during this pandemic far from loved ones.  The privilege of those last moments of being there, where it is hardest to be, at the passing of a dear one was denied.  It feels inexcusable and we sense so many other mistakes were made. It is difficult to rectify them all or even reflect on the lessons that need to be learned.  So many hearts have been broken.  Perhaps one solution is to find our humanity again and ensure it is expressed in all the different settings that matter.  One of the important lifelines for those who are ill may well be loved ones.  Even some animals will not leave a wounded family member, surely such instincts should be supported by institutional systems rather than blocked or denied?  

In this depressing world of increasingly isolated living, that leaves so many alone and afraid we must rebuild the vital links with family, friends, and neighbours that fortify all of us.    There are times that instinctually you feel the direction of flow is in a negative direction and you need to consciously head the opposite way.  Perhaps rebuilding broken or neglected human bonds is the upstream movement that all of us need to focus on in these testing times.  

Divine Letters - tea stained and creased but read them!

 

Should we claim spiritual insight or clarity due to birthright, experience, or education?

Gosh no!

Is there some special mental skill or knack that enhances our spiritual capacity?

Gosh no!

Is there something of value to be found in our own words that will engender internal change or growth?

Gosh no!

Do we encounter souls that allow us to learn from their insights, skills, and experience?

Gosh yes!

When we listen with heart and mind to the lessons wrought from lives, honed by their unique path in life, do we feel the possibilities of change within ourselves?

Gosh yes!

It is said that every person we meet is a letter from the divine. Some creased, written covered in tea stains, worn over time from repeated handling with last-minute additions scribbled in the margin. When encountering any soul find something of worth within. Some wisdom they have gained from suffering or from actions they have undertaken in service to others. Even if you find them bereft of every gift normally given to a human, destitute of personal graces or material means draw close and ask them about their life’s journey. Are such lessons from the poor and humble infinitely better than the prattling of the powerful and the rich?

Gosh yes!

Does the quality of any letter depend on its letterhead, embossed in gold with a fancy address and ornate seal?

Gosh no!

Somewhere in the grace of listening, we grow in empathy and awareness. Cynical analysis will not suffice only kindly acceptance befits the listener. Can progress result?

Gosh Yes!

Should we be grateful to these letters of the divine, hidden in simple garb? 

Gosh yes!

Does the quality of our response to such human letters become a measure of the Divine mercy we ultimately receive?

Gosh yes!

 ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 25.40

Recalibrating in Dangerous Days

I sit and breathe deep. I think of all those we have loved and lost these days. Has not all thought become strangely recalibrated? It feels like one of those seismic moments when the atomic bomb exploded, ‘Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds’. 

The poor have suffered disproportionately. Refugee numbers have swelled as the fear of fleeing is outweighed by the danger of staying in areas afflicted by conflict, famine, or drought. In response, the wealthier nations have pulled up the skirts of their borders to avoid being besmirched by the hordes. Old racial, religious, national, and sexual prejudices have harmonized with the selfish preoccupation finding vogue. Fashions fly in and fly out, but who would’ve thought that while we face a global pandemic these old poisonous siren calls would lure us onto familiar rocks once again. 

We’ve lost 3,9 million citizens, so far, to this new virus and yet there is little soul-searching as to the lessons learned.   Older problems causing even greater numbers of deaths each year are usually largely ignored. 

• Globally, at least 2 billion people use a drinking water source contaminated with faeces. We shouldn’t be surprised then that 850,000 of them die each year because they have no clean water.

• Nine million die each year in this world from hunger. 

• Seven million die each year from smoking. 

• Three million die every year from the consumption of alcohol. 

• At least 2.8 million people die each year as a result of being overweight or obese. 

• 4.6 million die each year just from air pollution. 

We have money-making industries that thrive despite causing millions of these deaths each year and I fear it is viewed as merely collateral damage. 

Nations have shown a perverse greed to protect only their own during this pandemic, allowing others to die from a simple lack of oxygen or access to a vaccine. There are lessons needing to be learned about how corruption plagues society. Of how even personal protection equipment can become a moneymaking endeavour for those with the wrong perspective but the right connections. How much money marshalled to face this pandemic threat has been swiftly side-tracked into the coffers of those whose greed exceeds their integrity. I fear we are suffering from a moral decay that has been eating into the vitals of human society for some time. It has lowered humanity’s immune response and as a result, opportunistic cancerous elements have been given free rein. 

Yet, I have a hope that the younger generation has a clarity the older population may have lost. They are not afraid to make the changes that we, who have been moulded for decades by this system, cannot. Whether it is admitting climate change, addressing injustice, or simply wanting transformative decisions on gun control, I find myself respecting this younger generation more and more. Astonished at how much they understand and how clear their thought processes are. Not tied into toxic habits that have twisted our own mindset. They are more united and more in touch with each other. They question these false gods of consumerism, materialism, and all the other ‘..isms’ that have dictated so many of the poor choices we have made. 

The world is tired of words it wants actions. It requires deeds that show we have found a way to live moral, responsible lives that contribute to the health of both this world community and our precious planet Earth

Keep your dirty feet out off my mind!

It began with a metallic watch strap. I noticed mine had begun to look tarnished. Even mottled in places. I had worn it every day, everywhere for years. The idea occurred to me to replace the strap as the watch itself works perfectly. Then, one night as I brushed my teeth I wondered if I used a little nailbrush and a bit of soap on the strap would it make a difference? I began cautiously as the watch itself was not waterproof after all. Within a few seconds, I was appalled at the black gunge in the hand basin. I had been wearing the watch for years and it had obviously accumulated all the dirt and grease from my arms and everything I had ever touched. It was disgusting and as I scrubbed and more dirt emerged the original metallic colour of the strap began to be restored. All that time, all that dirt carried by me unknowingly.

It made me think about all the other dirt we unwittingly carry from place to place and people to people without registering. That same evening, I took a long hard look at my sandals. The roads here are dirty. The pavements are even worse with dogs’ poo. I cheated and put them in a basin in hot water and a dishwashing tablet.  Not the way to go as I later discovered.  Apparently, proper cleaning involves baking soda and being placed in a plastic bag in the freezer overnight to kill bacteria. For those who want to know more check this link out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6-rbLF_F54

I decided I had a mission it was time I tackled dirty areas of my life. This is but the beginning of the journey!  However, I decided to focus on cleaning one’s own body as a proper place to begin this whole business. Perhaps it is the parts we all ignore that are the places we need to focus on.  

I suspected that the dirtiest part of the foot would be the ankle. But on second thoughts perhaps between the toes. These are damp places and without cleaning could really stink.  Another place that can be forgotten is the bellybutton. How often does that crevice see the light of day? How much fluff and gunge can hide in this tiny cave? A 2012 study found 2,368 species of bacteria nestled into the navel.  Disturbing right?

When I breastfed my first son I was unaware of milk running down behind the back of his ear and drying there. As he didn’t like getting his head wet, in his daily bath, I had taken to just mopping his face and neck quickly with a wet face cloth. Eventually, It was the stench of rotting milk that raised alarm bells. When I pulled back his ear there was a huge curdle of dried milk behind it like crusty old bird poo. I was horrified but it taught me something about cleanliness.  Just because you cannot see the dirt does not mean it is not there.

Another cavity requiring careful cleaning is the bottom. My attention was drawn to this by a tattoo artist. When asked what was his pet hate he responded that those who came in to get a tattoo without washing their asses.  He pointed out that hours of working on an upper thigh, lower back or stomach frequently had him gagging over the smell drifting from an unclean posterior. Obviously, one needs to get to the bottom of things.

Of course, cleaning the exterior is one thing but even interior cavities are sometimes targeted. This can sometimes feel a step too far. However, a mouthwash makes sense, right? In 1AD the Romans used human or animal urine as a mouth wash. Apparently, the urine when stored long enough turns into ammonia which helped freshen the breath and whiten the teeth. Just in case this freaks you out it is also true that one of the most popular mouthwashes Listerine was originally invented for surgical procedures and for cleaning floors.

But, apart from the mouth, messing about with a delicate balance of other inner functioning cavities seems invasive and unnecessary. Spraying chemicals into your orifices may not serve to help their functioning at all and may even disrupt the fauna necessary for good health.  But this business of cleanliness is important in so many other ways other than just the physical aspect.  I suspect our minds are impacted by cleanliness just as much.

Cleanliness and order are not matters of instinct; they are matters of education, and like most great things, you must cultivate a taste for them.

Benjamin Disraeli

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.

Mahatma Gandhi

That last quote speaks of how important keeping cleanness of mind and spirit is.  I have long suspected that such cleanliness makes for a happy and contented life.  I unexpectedly loved this group of over one-hundred-year-olds because of their optimism and hope.

Zombie apocalyptic, villains and a good clap

In these odd days of a pandemic, it feels as if after watching scores of the zombie apocalyptic movies we all woke to find ourselves in one. There are no aliens scouring the landscape to find human victims to enslave, torture, inhabit or exterminate but there are hundreds of thousands of us dying due to an invader nonetheless.  Those who have never had it dread catching it. Those who survive feel as if they have the mark of Job upon them. Many thousands and thousands more are alone and isolated wondering what terrible deed they’ve done to justify this dreadful visitation.

The elderly, who have lived through a World war and brought up children to adulthood, perhaps lost a partner and already cope with deteriorating health now have a new foe to face. They must isolate from the remaining ones they love. Already outcast because of the lack of access to social media connections they must feel that the curtain has fallen on any resemblance of quality of life in their final days, months or years. Elderly relatives used to put into words the challenges by pointing out “this getting old is not for quitters!” But this present landscape was never dreamt of. The newspapers, radio and TV are like sirens of disaster breeding fear and anxiety. Everything and everyone is felt at fault. Even family out of love put the fear of God in their elderly relatives instructing them to see no one and stay indoors. Everyone knows the reasons; this virus kills the elderly in abundance but I wonder for some of those frail figures hiding behind curtains in their own home or in nursing home bedrooms this present condition must seem a fate worse than death. To be isolated, alone and safe but passing one’s last hours far from all you love feels like living an unspoken tragedy. However, there is the cruel possibility that the one you love and who has loved you deeply and consistently over decades could end up alone in a hospital dying with no loving hand to hold them and that quite freezes the heart. 

There are many lessons we are all learning as we endure this present situation. Perhaps the most foul is the extremes of wealth and poverty that blight mankind. Meaning that those with money can afford PPE, clean water, soap and are able to socially isolate and have shelter, food and resources. Those who don’t find suddenly that they are uniquely vulnerable to disease, hunger and worsening conditions. Wealthier nations buy up medicine and stockpile vaccines for their own population and can view others as inconvenient or even invaders. If it was a movie we would now have identified the villains of the piece. We would loathe their selfish agenda, “Me, Me, save me!” at all costs. The mean-spirited coward who throws others at the feet of the approaching alien to enable their own escape. But we are not watching a movie we are in it and part of the cast. As usual, there are very few heroes, many villains and a huge crew of extras standing around.

So today, when the news is full of how international businesses are suing governments around the world because they have lost income during the pandemic, I suspect that some of the biggest villains have now entered stage left. No matter what the loss of life, the economic collapse, the social instability these bloodsucking entities can focus only on their bottom-line, money. While many countries are facing debt burdens that will take decades or more to diminish these selfish corporations plan to line their pockets and those of their lawyers. Their agenda is clear. It has ever been so. But in these days of a pandemic, they may have overplayed their hand. 

Do you not feel, like me, sick to the stomach that while lives are ending, families are devastated, jobs lost and recession strikes these people care not one jot? Making money is their very reason for existence and every opportunity to do so whatever the cost to humanity is justified. In the 2008 economic crash, selfish reckless behaviour in terms of investment almost brought the world to its knees. Mostly, those responsible as usual strutted away with considerable financial gain and little consequence for their actions. The world is struggling, burying its dead, while fighting to maintain health care systems around the world besieged by the numbers needing assistance. Do these corporations really think they will again be allowed to milk this nightmare for their own greedy ends? There comes a point in every movie where suddenly you see clearly everyone’s intent. You’ve grasped the storyline.  You recognise the total lack of integrity or empathy in the darkness of the villain compared to the heroic brightness of the actions of those trying to save the day. For me, today’s news made that crystal clear. The despicable selfish actions of such entities are now blindingly evident and clear.

This week 600 civil society groups in over 90 countries have written an open letter calling attention to what is now happening. Oxfam, Friends of the Earth, the International Trade Union Confederation (ITUC), SumOfUs and Global Justice Now and many others have warned, at a

 “time when government resources are stretched to the limit in responding to the crisis, public money should not be diverted from saving lives, jobs and livelihoods into paying ISDS awards or legal fees to fight a claim”.

Others have pointed out that

“Public money should go towards protecting public health and people’s livelihoods, not towards lining the pockets of greedy multinational corporations and their lawyers.”

“Use of investor-state lawsuits is an attack on democracy in any circumstance. But the fact that corporations are considering suing governments over measures taken to protect human health, in the midst of a pandemic, is truly appalling.”

In case you are wondering exactly what ISDS is, The Economist in 2014 put it in a nutshell,

“If you wanted to convince the public that international trade agreements are a way to let multinational companies get rich at the expense of ordinary people, this is what you would do: give foreign firms a special right to apply to a secretive tribunal of highly paid corporate lawyers for compensation whenever a government passes a law to, say, discourage smoking, protect the environment or prevent a nuclear catastrophe. Yet that is precisely what thousands of trade and investment treaties over the past half-century have done, through a process known as ‘investor-state dispute settlement,’ or ISDS.”

This is nothing new and here are a few past examples of this process in action. The Swedish energy giant Vattenfall sued Germany for €6.1 billion in damages when the country decided to phase out nuclear power following the Fukushima disaster, and tobacco company Philip Morris sued both Uruguay and Australia over government health warnings on cigarette packs and other measures to reduce smoking.  Yes, you read that right a cigarette company sued whole nations for attempting to reducing smoking! 

And who exactly benefits from these ISDS payouts? That would be large corporations and rich individuals: 94.5 per cent of these awards went to companies with annual revenue of at least US$1 billion or to individuals with over US$100 million in net wealth. No wonder then that the Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz described ISDS as “litigation terrorism”.

There are other ways to handle injustice. If we look at the 2008 global financial crisis there was a nation that reacted differently to what happened.  Iceland was hit particularly hard its currency crashed, unemployment soared and the stock market was more or less wiped out.   However, unlike other Western economies, the Icelandic government let its three major banks - Kaupthing, Glitnir and Landsbankinn fail.  There was no buy out to support these banks. Instead, Iceland went after reckless bankers and many senior executives were jailed. 

Winter is Coming

My grandfather rarely spoke about the War. I believe it was because what he’d seen and lived through was so awful words could not describe it, nor hearts sustain it. 

Wars are often thought of as inevitable. A permanent affliction of humanity like the seasons. That famous soldier and President U.S Grant urged preparation for war as he felt;

“War never changes. War is like winter and winter is coming.”

Ulysses S Grant

But other voices speak of war as crime;

“Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.”

Ernest Hemingway, 1946

At times the sheer amount of death that war entails makes a mockery of either side being a winner.  Henri Barbusse described such an encounter;

“Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide.”

We commemorate the dead and the heroes that return but somehow the wounded, the injured and the vile process of dying and its horror is rarely captured adequately, but Captain Edwin Vaughan came close when he wrote;

“The cries of the wounded had much diminished now, and as we staggered down the road, the reason was only too apparent, for the water was right over the tops of the shell-holes.”  

War is about killing and any method that achieves that end, whatever the cost is too often deemed okay.

“I wish those people who talk about going on with this war whatever it costs could see the soldiers suffering from mustard gas poisoning. Great mustard-coloured blisters, blind eyes, all sticky and stuck together, always fighting for breath, with voices a mere whisper, saying that their throats are closing and they know they will choke.”

 Nurse Vera Brittain, 1933

Conflict can occur when two argue and disagree but when language fails its purpose then we have war as Margaret Atwood so succinctly put it;

“War is what happens when language fails.”

We have had two World wars and they are a part of our history taught in schools.  But it is impossible to educate any of us about future wars, their nature and their outcome. The horror is too great, the loss of life too terrible to convey to young minds but one of the greatest minds considered it deeply and made this heart stopping prediction;

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

Albert Einstein

Of course, people fight wars for reasons and Tolkien gave a powerful reasons;

“War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

However even war that begins with reasoned justification  and thoughtful serious reflection and reluctance  can conclude in the mindless celebration of mass murder; 

“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

Voltaire

“There are perhaps many causes worth dying for, but to me, certainly, there are none worth killing for.”

Albert Dietrich, Army Gi, Pacifist Co: The World War II Letters of Frank Dietrich and Albert Dietrich

I like the way Dietrich makes this clear distinction between being prepared to die but not to kill.  These letters written between these identical twins one a soldier and the other a pacifist have been compiled into a wonderful book about war and life.

The specific reasons for a war of course will have very little effect on the suffering of those who die as a consequence as Mahatma Gandhi pointed out;

“What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty or democracy?”

Margaret Atwood suggested in her earlier quote that war is a failure of language whereas John Steinbeck felt it was a more fundamental failing than that;

“All war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking animal.”

John Steinbeck

And our choice to go to war has consequences not just on those who fight or are killed, because that very choice shapes the life we all lead in endless ways.

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Perhaps the most horrific thing about war is that it recalibrates all that we normally value as humans.

“Consider human ignorance and inconsistency. A man who kills another man is punished by execution, but a military genius who kills one hundred thousand of his fellow creatures is immortalized as a hero. One man steals a small sum of money and is imprisoned as a thief. Another pillages a whole country and is honoured as a patriot and conqueror. A single falsehood brings reproach and censure, but the wiles of politicians and diplomats excite the admiration and praise of a nation. Consider the ignorance and inconsistency of mankind. How darkened and savage are the instincts of humanity!”

‘Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 287

I am not sure why thoughts of war have come to me at this time of a pandemic sweeping the world.  But doesn’t war seem particularly pointless when humanity is trying to marshal its defences against a virus that is 0.000125 mm across and not even a living thing?  Fundamentally does this not remind us that we are one family and if we cannot work together for the best of humanity then we are less than the most inferior of us all.

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

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Deeper than happiness, joy springs from mysterious sources. Not sudden rain bursts of glee. Nor mere gladness because of calm waters. It is fuelled instead from clean, deep unpolluted wells that are blemish-free. That run with cleansing channels to fertile lands. Growing deeds as crops. Its unseen abundance is fenced by detachment. Joy bubbles up despite hardship, often due to hard lessons learnt. The deeper the plough cuts the greater the harvest.

Seneca (4 BC-65 AD) the ancient stoic philosopher was sentenced to commit suicide by the emperor Caligula, who resented Seneca’s eloquence in the Senate. Seneca only survived because he was seriously ill and Caligula thought that he would soon die anyway.  The next emperor Claudius exiled Seneca for many years to the island of Corsica.  Nero, the subsequent emperor, was tutored in his childhood by Seneca but later turned on his old tutor and sentenced him to death.  Seneca had certainly experienced the hardships that tribulations bring.  He would have agreed with the words of Epictetus, a later stoic who urged vigilance in life by pointing out:

“It’s much easier for a mariner to wreck his ship than it is for him to keep it sailing safely; all he has to do is head a little more upwind and disaster is instantaneous. In fact, he does not have to do anything: A momentary loss of attention will produce the same result.”

Seneca, much earlier in his life, had already spoken to others on misfortune.  He had pointed out that one should not see apparent misfortunes as genuinely bad. He lectured that in some ways they should be welcomed as they can benefit us. He felt that a good person should treat all adversity as a training exercise.  In fact, he drew an analogy with a wrestler who only benefits from taking on tough opponents and who would gradually lose his skill if he only ever faced weaker challengers. Seneca felt that we only show our own skills when we face a real adversary.  Adversity, he felt, works in a similar way: it lets us display our virtues and it trains them so that we can improve. He suggested that adversity should be welcomed when it came. In a similar vein, he pointed out that a general will only send his best soldiers into the most difficult battles. He felt that God will send the toughest challenges only to the most worthy individuals. Experiencing adversity then is a mark of having a virtuous character. He asked the question that if we are never tested would we ever develop virtues of patience courage and resilience? Seneca pointed out that unlimited luxury and wealth would serve to make a person lazy, complacent, ungrateful and greedy for more.

After a lifetime of giving lectures on detachment he consoled his companions as his own painful death was endured. He reminded his listeners of Socrates’ (470 BC – 399 BC) approach to death. If life was so valuable, he pointed out, why would Socrates, the greatest philosopher, treat it with such dismissal. Socrates had been occupied with the search for moral virtues and was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock.  Socrates' fearless humour was demonstrated when during his trial he was asked what his punishment should be and responded that a wage from the government and free dinners for the rest of his life would suffice!

It’s not that life is unimportant but to live an uninvested life seems the worst torment. If unexpected death can be viewed as a kindly gardener moving a tender plant to a more fertile land then a waste of life can both be likened to a worthless weed. A weed that has grown out of sight of the gardener’s care, strangling younger seedlings and denying them light or substance. Such weeds will gain their recompense at the final harvest. But what gardener does not despair at their wanton destruction. The question then remains how do we flourish and progress fully in life?

Marcus Aurelius (121 – 180 AD), a stoic emperor wrote with insight;

“Make a habit of regularly observing the universal process of change; be insidious in your attention to it, and school yourself thoroughly in this branch of study; there is nothing more elevating to the mind. For when a man realizes that at any moment he may have to leave everything behind him and part from the company of his fellows, he casts off the body and thenceforward dedicates himself wholly to the service of justice in his personal actions and compliance with Nature in all else. No thought is wasted on what others may say or think of him or practise against him; two things alone suffice him, justice in his daily dealings and contentment with all fate’s apportionings.”

So sometimes when hardship or loss strikes, the lessons it brings can prune and strengthen growth.  But if we instead, flower with easy abundance, grow in wealth and glory while seeing others around us wither and suffer then, perhaps the Divine Gardener does not transplant with love but views us with startled disdain.

All that growth and show, just wasted space. If our good deeds here plant seeds in the next world, what scene of devastation awaits those who have abused and brought destruction to others. Better by far to face atonement here than face the divine Gardner with no penance paid, full of selfish satisfaction and a wasted, wasteful life to offer. While others roughly treated here may find more forgiving climes and receive tender divine care from the source of love.

Marcus Aurelius had clear opinions on what we should and should not fear in this life.  It is surprising but to the point.

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“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”