Look at the knockers on that!

My lovely family guests have gone and it has been a blast.  So much laughter and so much walking!  Sometimes 7 kms a day.  Being with those you love, is such therapy for mind and soul.  I have a wonderful memory of walking in Medina, a beautiful walled city in the centre of Malta with my mum and my aunt. 

My mother had just come fresh from polishing our brass doorknob here, which until her arrival had languished dull and neglected on our front door like all the other knockers in our block of flats.  I expect people are far too busy nowadays to see to such things.  My mother, however, knows a challenge when she sees it and the Brasso was out every day until our doorknocker shone like gold.  I wish I could show you ours, before she got started on her mission to improve but since my neighbours have neglected theirs I can use theirs to show the difference.

Before

After

The only problem is here in Malta the brass doorknockers are abundant and elaborate in design.  They can range from fish to faces, and come in a vast range of sizes.  As we walked through the tourist packed streets of Medina, my mother was constantly pointing out new designs that drew her attention on church doors, houses and shops.With every discovery, she would announce in a loud excited voice, “Look at the knockers on that!”  Oblivious to the startled reaction of passer-by’s she would extol the size, the shine, the uniqueness of the knockers.  I grew used to the head turns, the shocked looks as she proclaimed, “I’ve never seen knockers this big”.  Even when someone had forgotten to shine their doorknockers there was plenty to say, “For goodness sake, some one should clean these knockers, they would be beautiful if only someone would give them a bit of attention”.  

Since my Mum is a respectable age, it seemed all the more shocking to have these titbits on a regular basis.  If anyone reading this happened to be in Medina that day, can I apologise for what they were subjected to.  There was something even more unexpected that a very respectful looking white haired pensioner felt duty bound to admire all the knockers on display that day.  I observed one low cut dressed German lady, across the street from us, attempt to cover her ample bosoms as my mum pointed out a set of furious head shaped knockers behind her with the startled exclamation, “My goodness that is a terrifying pair of knockers!”

Oh, how I miss the laughter and the fun of these lovely ladies, my mum and my aunt, in my life.  I cannot begin to tell you about the really funny bits of their holiday, they must forever remain a secret.  And that’s all I am going to say about that.

Mother does not always know best!

I was a rather novice mother.  Being the youngest of my family I had zero experience of looking after youngsters.  So when I gave birth to my first son I remember the sheer fear that he was suddenly my responsibility.  I distinctly remember feeding him in the hospital bed and then ringing the nurse to return him to his crib.  When she asked why I did not do it myself I answered that I had never walked and carried a small baby and was afraid I may drop him.  I was serious! 

Being allowed to leave the hospital with this small vulnerable creature was terrifying and seemed completely wrong.  How would he survive with me!  It was a cold day and we had to put him in a one-piece coat for the first time.  A lovely elaborate outfit with zips that undid at the top and bottom if you needed to change him.  I have to say despite my fears our son was an ideal baby.  He slept and when not sleeping fed, in fact he was everything that reassured a rather nervous mother like me.  He smiled at everyone and held out his hands to even passing strangers to be picked up.  He just seemed really normal and exceptionally friendly.

That day for the first time he was crying.  It threw me but I changed his nappy to see if that helped.  It didn’t.  I tried to feed him and that didn’t help either.  By now I was running out of ideas, this had never happened before and his cry was louder and more pained.  I carried him, tried to put him to sleep by pushing him in the buggy outside.  Even that did not work and I was about to just let him cry, after all perhaps he was becoming spoiled?  If I just left him in the bedroom for a while alone, to cry himself out, he would learn that crying for attention was no way to behave!

Then, I noticed that the zip at his neck was embedded in his flesh.  While pulling up the zip I had caught a piece of his flesh in it.  The poor thing, how long had he suffered?  Once I released him he quickly returned to his usual happy and friendly nature and didn’t seem to bare any grudges for my blatant incompetence.  That night when he slept I cried beside his cot, furious at my carelessness and devastated at causing him pain.  

What Trees Do and what we do

1. Trees Produce Oxygen

A mature leafy tree produces as much oxygen in a season as 10 people inhale in a year. The forest also acts as a giant filter that cleans the air we breath.

In every community there are factors that drain the lifeblood away.  They can be as toxic as drug dealers, abusive partners or neighbours, or drivers that put not only their own lives at risk but others as well.  But there are also great community builders as well.  These mature individuals are anxiously concerned with the age in which they live.  By their actions they breathe life back into our community.  They can undo the damage that tens or hundreds of careless individuals cause.  The world needs more of them!

2. Trees Clean the Soil

The term phytoremediation means the absorption of dangerous chemicals and other pollutants that have entered the soil. Trees can either store harmful pollutants or actually change the pollutant into less harmful forms. Trees filter sewage and farm chemicals, reduce the effects of animal wastes, clean roadside spills and clean water runoff into streams.

There are individuals who by their leadership safeguard their community from the dangers that surround us.  They use their position to tackle pollution of our environment, our bodies or our minds.   Their integrity allows them to rise above the complacency or lethargy that too many suffer from.  Often these leaders rise above racism, prejudice, self-aggrandisement and greed to keep their integrity intact in a dirty world.  There are too few of these, especially nowadays.

3. Trees Control Noise Pollution

Trees muffle urban noise almost as effectively as stonewalls. Trees, planted at strategic points in a neighbourhood or around your house, can abate major noises from roads etc.

In today’s life we are bombarded by noise of all sorts.  Much of it is blasting at us from morning to night.  We have become so used to it we barely notice its effect on our lives.  But there are some places that bring calmness, a peace, a comfort to our souls.  Such spaces are crucial for us to find that peace within.  We need to find that space and for each person it will be different.  For some it is the sea, or a forest, their garden, even a balcony, a coastal walk or a silent bedroom. Wherever it is find time to be there and use that special place to shelter and nurture you.  There are less and less of such places in existence but more and more of a need for them!

4. Trees Slow Storm Water Runoff

Flash flooding can be dramatically reduced by a forest or by planting trees. One Colorado blue spruce, either planted or growing wild, can intercept more than 1000 gallons of water annually when fully grown. Underground water-holding aquifers are recharged with this slowing down of water runoff.

The pace of life means that all too often the most important things are left out.  We rush around with such important tasks that we omit the vital conversations or hugs that keep relationships alive and healthy.  Such small tasks allow the pace to slow and vital nourishment sinks deep into our families and friends.  The days no longer run away with mad rushes but contain meaningful moments that make for  a rich life not just a busy one.

5. Trees Are Carbon Sinks

To produce its food, a tree absorbs and locks away carbon dioxide in the wood, roots and leaves. Carbon dioxide is a global warming suspect. A forest is a carbon storage area or a "sink" that can lock up as much carbon as it produces. This locking-up process "stores" carbon as wood and not as an available "greenhouse" gas.

The world is facing global challenges that grow with intensity with each passing year.  Global warming is already causing floods, droughts, famine and lives are being lost daily.  Just because it may not be us, at present, does not make it any less of a priority.  The degree to which we respond in our own lives to this growing trend the quicker we become part of the solution.  We instantly begin to convert the negatives we see around us into progress.  Sometimes it is important to fight the current trends not accept them.

6. Trees Clean the Air

Trees help cleanse the air by intercepting airborne particles, reducing heat, and absorbing such pollutants as carbon monoxide, sulphur dioxide, and nitrogen dioxide. Trees remove this air pollution by lowering air temperature, through respiration, and by retaining particulates.

Everyday we become coated in tiny particles, absorb gas particles that have consequences for our health and well-being.  Our ability to resist such toxins determines our present strength.  Our skin is the medium by which such pollutants reach us, or our lungs.  So it pays to have both thick skin and a healthy set of lungs.  This speaks to our ability to withstand criticism and attacks, while our ability to speak out against injustice is also vital as it may protect others as well.

7. Trees Shade and Cool

Shade resulting in cooling is what a tree is best known for. Shade from trees reduces the need for air conditioning in summer. In winter, trees break the force of winter winds, lowering heating costs. Studies have shown that parts of cities without cooling shade from trees can literally be "heat islands" with temperatures as much as 12 degrees higher than surrounding areas.

In heated situations it pays to have a cool head.  Such characters help calm things down.  They keep us all from overheating.  Without such characters we would constantly be fighting forest fires.  Never seeing the long-term objectives but chasing our tails with short term priorities.

8. Trees Act as Windbreaks

During windy and cold seasons, trees located on the windward side act as windbreaks. A windbreak can lower home heating bills up to 30% and have a significant effect on reducing snowdrifts. A reduction in wind can also reduce the drying effect on soil and vegetation behind the windbreak and help keep precious topsoil in place.

Once you lose the topsoil you can no longer be productive.  Without something to hold the soil in place the good stuff in your life can be lost.  You have to protect the things that keep you productive not lose them.

 9. Trees Fight Soil Erosion

Erosion control has always started with tree and grass planting projects. Tree roots bind the soil and their leaves break the force of wind and rain on soil. Trees fight soil erosion, conserve rainwater and reduce water runoff and sediment deposit after storms.

At a time when flash floods are more frequent and more intense than usual we cannot afford to lose those who nature designed for this purpose.  Such individuals recognise the needs for today, they speak out, they search for the facts and by their presence they stand firm in a rising tide of materialism and commercial greed.

10. Trees Increase Property Values

Real estate values increase when trees beautify a property or neighbourhood. Trees can increase the property value of your home by 15% or more.

Beauty is hard to define but we all know it when we see it.  A friend of mine retired and built a beautiful villa on a slope over looking a wonderful Mediterranean coast.  He had even a bunch of wonderful olive trees on one side and would tell everyone who visited that all major olive groves stemmed from a time of peace in the country.  It was only when you had fifty years of peace to allow your grove to reach maturity, he claimed, it was worth planting.  In time of war no one has that luxury.  We can with thoughtlessness rip out something that has a glorious heritage, not even realizing what it represents and what we have just lost.

Pictures speak louder than words

I once was looking after a nephew of mine.  With a bit of luck he is not reading this and so will not recognise himself.  There was a large bunch of people in a meeting at the university and my nephew was the only child, so was bored out of his mind.  I had a book to write in and a pen so for a while he was happy to draw things on one page.  Then, when he got tired of that I drew the only two things I can draw an elephant and a pig.  See below for my incredible artwork. 

However, even this brilliance began to bore him.  So, on impulse on a blank piece of paper in the book I wrote poo.  His face was shocked and when I pushed the pen in his direction he very reluctantly scribbled pee.  Then I wrote bastard and his face became a picture.  He thought long and hard then giggled and wrote shit.  I took the page and hid what I was writing from him.  By now he was hooked and could not wait to pull the book away and read what I had scribbled.  His hand flew to his mouth and he gasped as he saw I had written the dreaded F word.  He could not believe it and covered it with his hand so no one else might see it.  But then with a pen that was pressed deep in the paper he wrote in capital large letters FUCK.  I took the book and wrote the same word even bigger.  He could not wait to pull the book back and wrote FUCKING BASTARDS across the whole open page in the largest letters he could manage.  I was surprised this was a boy who did not curse.  What had I unleashed?   This continued for a whole half hour with every curse word we could spell and a few he could not.  Talk about a catharsis.  We both looked in horror at the open page covered with these filthy words.  I whispered that I had better stick the two pages together later so no one else could see what these pages contained.  Later we used glue stick to accomplish this.  Once it was all sealed the only things visible was the pig and the elephant, we had drawn earlier on the preceding page.  

I have that book and the sealed page to this day.  My nephew is now all grown up and thankfully a normal healthy young man despite his mischievous and naughty aunt’s tricks. But just sometimes, when life gets on top of either of us and we want to curse most dreadfully and loudly, scream at the unfairness of things, we just draw a pig or an elephant and the other knows exactly what we would really like to write.  Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

Colette’s Commercial Tips/Guidance

1. I love Moleskine notebooks, they are so robust, last forever and my particular favourite is the ones with squared paper inside.  Don’t ask me why but that type helps me be more creative.  I filled my last book with stuck in leaves, flowers, poems, short stories and could not bring it with me to Malta.  Do you know, I am missing it still and am determined to get a new one fast.
2. I have long copied my mother in using Oil of Ulay as a moisturiser (pink bottle).  She would hold all my children’s faces to her cheek when looking after them and they would return to me smelling of this cream.  I cannot use the sensitive version or even the sunscreen one as they don’t have that gloriously familiar smell.
3. One of my son’s girlfriends introduced me to Donkey/Ass soap.  Don’t laugh, Cleopatra used it after all, and I have to admit for cleaning the skin this soap beats everything else on the market.  Before you laugh yourself silly, try it!
4. Never ever write letters, complicated emails or have deep detailed conversations last thing at night.  It is a recipe for a sleepless night.  Create a bedtime routine that includes calling yourself to account each night.  This should not be a berating self-damaging process.  It just means thinking about the day and how you handled yourself, what you would improve, what you would do better and what you should have neglected.  It should help kick start a better day ahead, not finish you off in depression.
5. Don’t backbite as a principle.  I remember being in a committee meeting with a very challenging person who invariably got everyone’s back up.  One meeting I had a heated consultation with her and said my piece honestly but knowing me bluntly too.  The next meeting the lady did not show and suddenly the other committee members launched into verbal assaults of this missing member.  I was furious and told them that if I had a problem with anyone they would know about it and I certainly was not willing to attack a person who was not there to defend themselves.  Besides being a waste of time I have long felt that what people do to others they eventually do to you.  So, if they are running someone down be pretty sure when you are not around they are doing a hatchet job on you!
6. Be with good people as much as possible.  My neighbour on Rhodes was an architect, when not feeding the local stray cats with huge bags of food that he bought, he was on the slopes of the island planting trees for the environment.  Apart from that he was an exceptionally kind person who was a joy to our entire apartment block.  He and his wife just improved the neighbourhood somehow and raised the bar on what a real human being should be.
7. Be grateful, it has nothing to do with what you have, own or are.  It is a state of being and as such should be aspired to.  Be grateful for health, if you don’t have that be grateful for loved ones, if you don’t have that be grateful for all those who you once had, if you have never had anyone be grateful that in the days ahead you will have an opportunity to love someone you have yet to meet.

Doing a demented version of Morris dancing

Today I passed an unusual sight.  There was an English tourist stamping his feet as if doing a demented version of Morris dancing on a sea path.  As I grew closer I realised that there was a huge lizard trapped on the path between him and his young wife.  By jumping up and down he was herding the lizard towards his terrified wife who was cringing fearfully and shouting at him simultaneously.  I know it was cruel but it was also funny.  Eventually, the lizard, the piggy in the middle, grew tired of this game and raced up a nearby wall to safety.  I passed the young man bent double and weeping with laughter, while his irate partner beat him over the head with her handbag.  I have no idea why this whole event had me smiling all the way home but it did.

Perhaps our sense of humour is created at a young age.  One April the 1^st my mother shouted up to my sleeping father that the next-door neighbour had fallen down a hole in the garden.  My dad raced out the front door, to the rescue, wearing only a hastily thrown on shirt and nothing else.  We laughed happily at this for the rest of the day.  I rest my case; humour is cultivated and in my case has always been watered with a bit of cruelty.

Being with her was enough hell for any reasonable man

I can remember my heart sinking at various moments when visiting some friends.  Invariably, you would be having a lovely cup of coffee and a nice chat when the door would open and two things would happen.  The hostess’s hand would start to shake so much that her coffee cup would rattle against the saucer and her face would portray that look of frightened horror that I have come to dread.  It usually meant that the person coming through the door was their husband and to be found having a cup of coffee relaxing with friends, while they worked, was a provocation that they felt inappropriate.  Had they been ironing, dusting, cooking or cleaning, it would have been fine.  Nothing much would be admitted as introductions were made to all there but beneath the surface you could feel the strain.  Someone would pay for this indiscretion and the hostess knew it was probably her. 

Not, that this was always the case.  Far from it, many friends had no such reaction and would joke merrily with a steady hand on their coffee cup.  I grew to love that solid stability it felt robust and healthy.  Mind you at times you did feel sorry for husbands.  One friend, Ellie,  would smuggle her many purchases home and hide them in a friend’s apartment for a couple of weeks, so when her husband asked was that a new dress she could answer confidently and truthfully, “No, I have had this weeks!” 

Ellie was a character though and her whole block consisted of like minded women, who seemed to be wearing pyjamas all the time when at home.  Then, I realised they would come home from work and change into these comfortable working pyjamas.  They would pop in and out of each other’s apartments and I envied their unity and laughter.  Once Ellie was late, as usual, running her sons to school and raced out the door in her pyjamas and slippers to drive them there.  Her best friend, the neighbour above, apparently leant over the balcony and shouted, “I hope the car brakes down, while you are dressed like that!”  Usually, she could drop the boys off without getting out of the car or being seen by anyone, but one day the car did indeed break down and poor Ellie had to walk in her fluffy slippers, hair dishevelled and pink pyjamas exposed all the way home.  It was highly unfortunate, for Ellie, that of all the people who met her on the road that day her mother-in-law was included.  There are definitely days that go from bad to worse.

Ellie came back from a longed for holiday in Paris unusually angry.  She told me that if her husband went to hell, then she wanted to go to heaven and if he died and went to heaven she would prefer hell!  This was a bit strong, I felt, but she claimed that the whole holiday he had complained about the price of coffees, the shops, the hotel, the roads and even the food.  He’s ruined the whole holiday, she muttered and that was it, no more trips with him.  She was an exuberant character and actually a lovely person but explosive.  When, I eventually met her husband he turned out to be a nice mild mannered man who treated Ellie with a teasing good humour.  They seemed to get away with saying any outrageous thing to each other without causing lasting offence.  Even the comment about heaven and hell was repeated loud enough for him to overhear, he just snorted in amusement when he heard it, and responded that being with her was enough hell for any reasonable man.

It has been said that marriage should be a fortress for well-being. I know it has been heartening to meet those that have created that space within their union that protects and nurtures.  Mighty fortresses indeed.