Giant by name and giant by nature

We often look back and think of the ancient structures at Stonehenge (3000 BC to 2000 BC) and wonder about the people who made this impressive spot. We are blown away by their inventiveness, just how did they move those large stones (7.3 metres tall and weighing as much as two tons), and wonder why they did it.  We know the stones were mined quite far away and had to be transported long distances so no wonder we are impressed.  

But almost 6000 years earlier than Stonehenge, Gobekli Tepe in South Eastern Anatolia (Turkey) is a Neolithic archaeological site with 17 pillars inscribed with herds of gazelle and other figures of wild animals. This site makes Stonehenge fairly modern by comparison. This is one of the world’s oldest permanent human settlements and is linked to that interesting period when humanity first transitioned from being hunters and gatherers to having an agricultural lifestyle.  Whereas Stonehenge was probably originally designed as a cemetery, Gobekli Tepe is thought to have originated as the world’s first temple and was quite sophisticated, with grinding stones and mortar and pestles etc. Dating from 9500 to 8000 BCE this is certainly an impressive place.

Amidst all the ancient history of such places, there are also stories that seemed to have survived over the millennia in many parts of the world.  Giants in various shapes and sizes have long been the stuff of legend.  Americans dug up skeletons of giants all over their continent in the late 19th century and early 20th century, and their heights were said to range from 7ft to 20 ft tall.   When these were debunked in 1934 by a leading scientist in the Smithsonian Institution (dinosaur bones were included in these finds), many fanatics convinced of their “truth” turned on this institution. Indeed, Smithsonian archaeologists were accused of destroying giant bones in order to cover up their existence.  

Just in case you thought this confusion was a result of early ignorance of scientific investigation this particular story was revived as recently as 2014. An internet story began circulating that claimed the Smithsonian Institution had custody of giant skeletons but they destroyed "thousands of giant skeletons" in the early 20th century.  Reuters and the Associated Press were this time able to expose the falsity of this.  It is depressing that nonsense reappears like a bad smell again and again.  Do we really have to waste valuable research time and money having to dispel crazy myths over and over again?  You think of education as a progressive process always advancing and illuminating humanity but it appears that miseducation is even more prevalent these days!  Will education deteriorate until it simply consists of just removing erroneous information gleaned? 

Two of my three sons shared a bedroom and my youngest son had his head filled with everything his older brother could think to tell him. For instance, that the universe was formed by a monkey and a vending machine in one long complicated tale that his brother retold so many times my youngest knew it by heart.  I feared my youngest son’s first few years of schooling would just entail unlearning all that his mischievous brother had instilled.  Back to the giant legend and to both ancient discoveries and old manuscripts.

Chinese ancient manuscripts speak of legendary figures of great height with deep-set blue or green eyes, long noses with full beards and red or blond hair.  Strangely much later, Pliny the Elder (23-79AD) mentioned a report from a Ceylonese ambassador to the Roman Emperor Claudius of a people in north-west China who exceeded the normal height, had flaxen hair with blue eyes and who made an uncouth sort of noise when talking.  It all sounds like nonsense but then the Tarim Mummies were discovered and these tall red-haired, Caucasian-looking people were found with felt and woven clothing and seemed very tall. They are called Tarim because that is the region in present-day Xinjiang, China (surprise, surprise - North West China!) where they were found.  They existed in this region from 1800 BC to the first centuries BC and are believed to descend from Indo-European language speakers who migrated into the Russian steppes around 3300 BC (no wonder their language was foreign sounding to those in China). 

One such mummy, known as the Cherchen Man, was an adult male who is believed to have died around 1000 BC and was aged around fifty years at the time of his death. He was tall and his hair was "reddish brown flecked with grey, framing high cheekbones", he had an aquiline "long nose, full lips and a ginger beard", and was wearing "a red twill tunic" and leggings with a pattern resembling tartan. 

Obviously, news of this group had travelled far and wide hence the ancient Chinese and Pliny references.  Height variation is not new, after all, ancient hunter gathers had an average height of 5 ft 9 inches but when an agricultural lifestyle was adopted the average height of a man had fallen to just 5 ft 3 inches by 3000 BC.  In comparison to those average heights, these guys must have seemed like giants!

Our species has been on the move over the millennium and with the aid of modern science we have a better notion of how and when that took place.  It is fascinating to see this movement on a map.

Looking at this movement over the millennium it is no wonder the human race is of many hues, sizes and dimensions. We know that pygmy tribes have an average height of 4 ft 11 inches and we accept that this variation is found in tribes.  So perhaps there were tribes of tall people too? After all exceptionally tall people turn up in unexpected places. Here are a few captured on camera. 

Battista (or Baptiste) Hugo and Antoine Hugo were born 11 years apart in the late 1880s. The brothers were born in Vinadio, a village in the Italian mountains. Baptiste reached a height of 7ft 6.5 inches. Antoine was somewhat smaller at just under 7 ft 5ins.

The Imperial Durbar in Delhi in January 1903 was designed to celebrate the ascension of Edward VI and Alexandra of Denmark as the Emperor and Empress of India. In attendance at the Durbar, were the Rulers from all the big and small states that made up India.  The Maharaja of Kashmir brought along his giant bodyguards who literally stood heads and shoulders above everyone there.  They were twin brothers of which the taller one was 7 ft 9 inches and the shorter one 7 ft 4 ins tall. Called the Giants of Kashmir they were in service of the Maharaja as elite riflemen and his personal bodyguards.

Martine Van Buren Bates (1837-1919), called the Kentucky giant, was 7 ft 9 inches tall and he is photographed below with his wife who was even taller at 7 ft 11 inches.  

Mind you being this tall could bring its own problems.  Martin was one of the few of this height who survived into his 80s.  Health problems can arise due to extreme height and vice versa, health problems can cause extreme height.  There is a disease that triggers excessive growth due to a tumour on the pituitary gland. Gigantism is a very rare condition that happens when a child or adolescent has high levels of growth hormone (GH) in their body, which causes them to grow very tall. Many children with gigantism (29%) have a genetic mutation that causes the pituitary tumour to form. Given this is inherited, nowadays genetic screening of patients with GH excess is recommended to avoid the excessive growth associated with this condition.  In contrast, nowadays to treat short stature, growth hormone can be supplied to children to trigger growth.  It is horrifying to discover that in the 1950s and 60s estrogen treatment was given to some girls to stunt their natural growth.  It was thought if they were tall it would impact their future ability to marry!  

The evidence is clear not only do giants exist now but they have also existed in the past. Here is a table of giants and I have only selected those over 7 ft 5 inches and got no further than India in the alphabet of countries so apologies to those I have left out. Note too, how many died at quite a young age.  Being tall is obviously a challenge to our physical systems.

The next question is, could there have been tribes of giants?  Well, given the genetic components both in terms of simple inherited height and also gigantism it is conceivable that an isolated tribal community could have boosted their height considerably relative to others.  The average height of a man from Netherlands is 6 ft, among the tallest in the world, and their diet which is rich in milk and meat seems to have helped.  The Trapp family in Esko, Minnesota, USA, consisting of mum Krissy (6 ft 3 inches), dad Scott (6 ft 8 inches), children Savanna (6 ft 8 inches), Molly (6 ft 6 ins), and Adam (6 ft 8 inches) demonstrate that clearly having tall parents helps boost height 

Imagine, if instead of having three children the Trapp family had 12.  After all, when I go back to my own family two generations on both sides 12 was a fairly common family size.  Then, suddenly the idea of a tribe of giants seems not just a possibility but a distinct probability.

Interestingly I read this study, which has relevance to where I am from, Northern Ireland.

“An international team of scientists led by Prof. Márta Korbonits from Queen Mary University, London, reported key findings regarding pituitary tumours of genetic origin. The study, published in the journal Human Mutation and covered by the BBC and The Times, identified an increased number of patients with acromegaly and gigantism in the Mid Ulster region of Ireland and demonstrates how a change in the gene called AIP was inherited from one single person, the "common ancestor", who lived approximately 2,500 years ago….These findings may explain the known historical accounts of Irish giants originating from the area and, in a way, justifies the numerous local legends involving giants.”

I am not at all sure I agree with that last statement. After all, giants have been mentioned in cultures all over the world so did they all suffer from this disease?  Before modern medicine, gigantism meant you died fairly young so I am not sure that is an evolutionary gain. I don’t want to make a big thing out of this but the tall the short of it is, physical size is just one aspect of being human.  By far the biggest is the person you are inside and the quality of that will determine your own legend and legacy.  Those we remember throughout history were rarely the tallest but they contributed massively to our civilisation.

A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men.

Plato

Started with skirting boards and ended with shoes

 It started many months ago. All I wanted was a bit of paint to touch up the skirting boards in the house, a simple task. However, one tin of white paint seemed to cost a fortune in the local hardware shop. Hesitating at the astronomical cost, I spotted a tiny tube of tester paint. This particular tester had a kind of sponge dispenser on the top. It meant you could squeeze the paint out onto the skirting boards directly without the need for paintbrushes and had possibly just enough paint to do all the skirting boards removing all the unsightly stains. 

As with all such hardware purchases, the leftover tube ended underneath the kitchen sink. After six months I purchased a pair of shoes for my mum. She needs to have wedge heels, with shoelaces and light colours, they also need to be soft and comfortable. The shoes when they arrived were a kind of dirty beige colour. This was disappointing but even more upsetting was the fact that they were far too small for my mum despite being her size! These shoes ended up in the back of the cupboard in the bedroom, one of my least successful purchases. Roll on yet another six months and I purchased on the Internet a shoe stretcher.  I never knew such things existed. This one had rave reviews and when it arrived met all my expectations.  

Feet change shape over the years and this stretcher could account for bunions, corns etc.  You just screw it tightly and leave the shoe overnight and by the next day, the shoe fits like a glove.  I spent a happy few weeks altering every shoe I could lay my hands on in the house.  It looks like a torture device but actually removes pain instead of inflicting it.  I was delighted with this purchase and wondered why I never knew such things existed!  

Of course, the yucky beige shoes were stretched and thankfully fit my mum for quite a while.  But she never got used to the yucky colour and for some reason when they got wet, they looked as if they were suede covered in greasy oil stains.  She stopped wearing them and I stretched them some more until they fit me.  They were light and comfortable but looked horrid. I wore them anyway after all waste not, want not.  Finally, this week I decided to change their colour once and for all.  I was determined not to spend any more money on these stupid cheap shoes.  Thankfully, I remembered the skirting board paint tester and used it on the shoes.  Don’t judge me!  I guess using house paint on shoes is not a good idea but I have reached that age where frankly, am I bothered?  The paint is beginning to crack a little but I am pretty pleased with the whole affair.  

There is joy in reaching an age when

1. There is no one to stop you from crazy ideas

2. You get to mess up and move on

3. Success is in the moment not some time in the future

4. You don’t give up on your mistakes you just reverse up and drive over them again

Table your mistakes, learn from them, then move on.

Confucius

Dear One,

It has been such a special time with you and I have luxuriated in all these moments of fellowship. I cannot be grateful enough for all these gifts of love. The heart-to-heart chats, the beautiful walks, and my young grandchild’s hugs all serve as a wonderful immersion in love. 

These past years of Covid have stolen such meetings from too many. Heart-stopping to think of all the fellowships that ended in permanent separation on this earthly plane. There are no words for those who faced such endings. So, it is with utter gratitude I find myself with loved ones these days. I am appreciative of health to enjoy such company and to have weathered this pandemic. Perhaps some of us have emerged scarred from all that has happened. Changed creatures from what we were before. I feel my brain is not what it used to be. No matter, perhaps recovery will take time. That is my hope and, in the meantime, I relish connections with loved ones that seem to stretch with love past the veil of brain fog and communicate heart-to-heart. I don’t have to be 100% to bask in love and laughter. 

Perhaps love, that cord that stretches even past death, is how we all must hold onto that which is vital. I am enjoying CS Lewis’s diary, who knew his spelling, was almost as bad as mine? When called up to serve in World I he wrote to his father to come and see him before he was shipped off to France. He would subsequently find himself on his 19th birthday on the front lines in the Somme Valley and lose his university flatmate and best friend Paddy Moore on those muddy killing fields. His father didn’t visit, not even when his son returned to hospital in the UK injured from France.  C.S. Lewis’s words on this haunt me dreadfully, “my father was a very peculiar man, in some respects: in non more than an almost pathological hatred of taking any step which involved a break in the dull routine of his daily existence.” How true it is, that we have to sometimes break free from dull routines which blind us to the real priorities. I felt travelling to see you was the break I needed to remind myself of how precious such steps are in all our lives.

“Deal ye one with another with the utmost love and harmony, with friendliness and fellowship . . . This goal excelleth every other goal, and this aspiration is the monarch of all aspirations.”

Bahá’u’lláh

Maurice vomits every morning just slowly until night prevails

Artist's impression of Pluto showing one of its large moons that never sets

In our family, this mnemonic was how we remembered the planets and their order in terms of distance from the sun.  Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.  My eldest brother Maurice has a sensitive stomach so this saying was close enough to the truth to make it easier to remember.  

Imagine my upset when in 2002 new data processing technologies discovered a series of planet-like objects orbiting the sun close to the orbit of Pluto.  This included Eris, Haumea, Makemake, Gonggong, Quaoar, Sedna and Orcus.  Indeed, one of them Eris is about the same size as Pluto.  However, Pluto is only 1/400th the size of Earth and is even smaller than our moon.  This bunch of objects along with Pluto were renamed dwarf planets instead of planets.  Planets were redefined as objects that met three critical requirements

(a) is in orbit around the Sun

(b) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape

(c) has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

It is the last of these requirements clearing the space around it that these dwarf planets fail to do.  One look at the Kuiper Belt indicates a failure of good housekeeping, it is far too messy. The strong gravitational field around a real planet serves to either capture, attract or perturb smaller objects around it. Those objects that pass the first two criteria but fail the third were renamed dwarf planets. 

No one really cared about these newcomers being downgraded to dwarf status but for some reason, a lot of people got really upset about Pluto no longer being a proper planet.  Pluto was found to have five moons of its own but did have an unusual orbit. All the other planets have orbits that lie as if on the surface of a plate extending out around the sun but Pluto has this weird tilted orbit going on.  

The Kuiper Belt where Pluto resides is one of the largest structures in our solar system.  It is like a huge donut, vast, mysterious and cold and dark.  Much, much further out there is another structure called the Oort Cloud, a spherical region of icy comet-like bodies and both the Kuiper Belt and the Oort cloud are sources of comets.  

Obviously, Pluto this black sheep of the family, was not only devoid of good housekeeping but deliberately ignoring the basic rules of the solar system.  

All those years ago I resented that my family mnemonic had been messed about by forces beyond our control.  But actually, comets have been having an incredible impact on our solar system over history. Take for example the Chicxulub comet which impacted 66 million years ago in Mexico. It created a crater 93 miles across and 12 miles deep.  It caused the Cretaceous-Paleogene mass extinction of three-quarters of the plant and animal species on Earth.  A recently published scientific paper has managed to connect 5 out of 6 mass extinctions of life with times of enhanced impact cratering on Earth.  The author concluded with the frank but frightening statement, “This cosmic cycle of death and destruction has without doubt affected the history of life on our planet.”

Worryingly Jupiter, which is 300 times the size of the Earth, has been found to act a bit like a huge pinball machine in defecting incoming long-period comets into orbits close to the sun and our vicinity.  Halley’s comet, which comes from the Oort Cloud revisits every 75/76 years and was first recorded in 240 BC and has been recorded since on innumerable other occasions like 1066 on the Bayeux tapestry. Mark Twain famously said he came into the world with the arrival of Halley’s Comet and would go out with the next. In his autobiography, published in 1909, he said,

“I came in with Halley's comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.” 

Twain died on 21 April 1910, the day following the comet's subsequent perihelion.

There are also many other striking features of comets that should be recorded.

The Hale Bopp Comet is large at 35 km in diameter and has a really long orbit.  It passed Earth in 2215 BC and didn't return until 1997.  The next time it comes our way will be 4385, so a long wait.  In the 6th dynasty reign of the Pharaoh Pepi II which coincided with the 2215BC comet appearance, his pyramid has text mentioning a star appearing.  This star is particularly noticeable, after all, it is 6 times the size of Halley's Comet and in its 1997 flyby, it became the brightest comet for decades and was visible for twice as long (18.5 months) as the Great Comet of 1811.  Sadly such evident celestial signs in the sky are often misinterpreted here on Earth.  In the case of the Hale Bopp Comet, 39 members of the Heaven's Gate Movement in the US committed mass suicide in March 1997 with the goal of teleporting to a spaceship they believed to be behind the comet.

In Jan 2004 NASA’s Stardust probe flew within 236km of comet Wild2, which is 5km in diameter, and managed to capture samples from its trail.  These were returned to earth and found to contain glycine a fundamental building block of life. Perhaps comets as well as taking life have also contributed life to planets? 

On 4th July 2005, NASA’s Deep Impact probe fired a washing machine-sized object into the path of the comet Tempel 1.  It created a hole in the comet the size of a football stadium.  This comet is 6km in size and orbits every 5/6 years.

The European Space Probe in 2014 managed to put a lander on the comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko and there is actually a video of what it captured on the surface of this comet!  It blew my mind to see this clip. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/67P/Churyumov%E2%80%93Gerasimenko#/media/File:67P_Churyumov-Gerasimenko_surface.gif

Given that comets and asteroids are prone to come flying Earth’s way with depressing regularity it is heartening to see someone practicing what to do if we manage to spot one on a collision course towards us in time. Just last year in 2022, after 10 months of flying in space, NASA’s Double Asteroid Redirection Test (DART) successfully impacted the asteroid Dimorphos. This asteroid was no danger to us but it proved that it was possible to move an asteroid in space and it succeeded in deflecting its course. You can watch a video of this collision here https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-s-dart-mission-hits-asteroid-in-first-ever-planetary-defense-test. Perhaps there is a part of you, like me, hoping they don’t nudge one into a collision course with earth while practicing!

Mind you we shouldn’t resent these impacts as there is evidence that a powerful impact on Earth probably created the moon around 4.1-3.8 billion years ago.  Without the moon’s tidal impacts on our sea, life as we know it may not have even begun. As a recent Scientific American article put it, “…the lineages that ultimately gave rise to humans were at first intertidal.”  Without those specific regions of the seashore, that are covered at high tide and uncovered at low tide, the viable condition for life may not have occurred.  Even more compelling is current scientific theories suggesting that all the water on Earth was acquired from water-rich comets or asteroids hurled here by the influence of Jupiter. When we talk of the ‘water of life’ perhaps we need to be grateful for Jupiter’s pinball nature.  Jupiter’s huge gravitational field in some ways also protects Earth as it also acts as the vacuum cleaner of the solar system sucking in some asteroids and comets.  One confirmation of this is the fate of the comet Shoemaker Levy-9 which hit the giant planet Jupiter in 1994.  This struck with the force of 300 million atomic bombs and left traces of water in Jupiter’s atmosphere reinforcing both Jupiter’s protection role but also proving the ability of comets to donate water to planets. 

Possibly, amidst all the chaos of flying objects and collisions, both destructive and constructive, life finds a way.  Perhaps, like in the rest of the Cosmos, things can arrive in our own lives unexpectedly and devastate what we hold dear.  We just have to hope that something in that pain and chaos may contribute to our future growth and development.

“… this endless universe is like the human body, and … all its parts are connected one with another and are linked together in the utmost perfection.”

‘Abdu’l Bahá

Plugged In

 

There is a point when you consult your internet browsing history and are frankly horrified at how plugged in one has become.  More and more of one's day has been wasted on an exhausting examination of breaking news, movies, and that latest third series of episodes of drama you have become strangely addicted to, interspersed with podcasts, social media posting, and viewing endless youtube videos on increasingly obscure topics.  

That this addiction is toxic is apparent from the rabbit holes one goes down. Overall, it is a little depressing that 86% of adults spend an average of 3 hours and 37 mins online each day (Ofcom figures).  But this level of addiction is to be expected as youtube's sophisticated technology recommends videos based on your viewing history to entice you to keep watching.  Internet browsing has definitely had a negative impact on my sleep.  

I actually never thought about sleep at all until I passed sixty.  Then, instead of blissful sleep, there came various stages of sleeplessness.  The first was not being able to get to sleep and endless hours tossing and turning to try and find the mystical perfect position that might bring oblivion.  The second was not only difficulty in getting to sleep but also waking up in the early hours of the morning and having a full breakfast at 3 or 4 am.  Usually, after toast and a full pot of tea, I would be able to fall back into bed and sleep.  Then, a different stage was reached where I did not sleep the whole night!  The day after this sleepless night I dragged myself around as if I had a mortal wound allowing my lifeblood to gradually drain away. The next night in recovery mode I would sleep the sleep of the just, deep, long, and life-affirming.  I foolishly thought this sleeplessness business had reached its worse stage however a new terrifying stage awaited me.  

Not only did I not sleep the entire night but even the following night.  After two sleepless nights in a row, a strange change in my mental state occurred.  I began to fear twilight, that signal of the coming night.  Now sleeplessness was not just a torment during the night but the tail end of the day was filled with dread at the forthcoming night!  The horrid thing about sleeplessness is the places one's mind goes to when you are sleep deprived.  Simply everything takes on a dark hue like the night.  The thoughts become darker, the future more dire and the very worst of memories resurrect themselves repeatedly. As William Shakespeare so eloquently put it,

"Care keeps his watch in every old man’s eye,

And where care lodges, sleep will never lie.”

So, why is this piece labeled unplugged?  I made a great discovery just when all seemed to have reached a crescendo.  I left my laptop outside the bedroom and sleep like a child once more.  I thought it was a fluke but have so far found myself returning to pre-sixty levels of blissful sleep.  It may not last and I hesitate to pronounce victory so soon.  After all, sleep is not just one battle it is more like a war!  But,  in case you too, like me are addicted to 'input' of all sorts and find yourself sleep-deprived I share my tip.  Do yourself a favour and check your browsing history and ask yourself honestly how much of it is adding to the quality of your life.  If you have tips of your own to share with me on these topics please do share.  I am anxious to learn a better path forward.  May I end by wishing you the very best of night's sleep!

 

A Constant Friend

 

Dear Del,

You have been my childhood companion in anorak and swimsuit holidays in the rain. 

A constant friend on those first exhilarating trips abroad as teenagers. 

Wherever I’ve been, in good times and bad you’ve been there. 

Making the effort to visit, call or write. 

Using every means to bridge the distance that life at times creates. 

You’ve always been generous and kind. 

I remember on my 50th birthday you took to took me to my first-ever spa experience and I sucked up the novelty of being pampered head to toe. 

I treasure a photo of us in our teens dancing together in the ankle-deep waves of the Med laughing and having the time of our lives. 

Most of all I remember standing at a loved one’s grave and feeling as if my heart was being lowered into a deep dark hole. 

I cried my pain and my loss. 

And across the grave, among the many in the crowded graveyard, I saw my pain reflected clearly in your eyes.

Concern love, sympathy, and empathy were all there. 

During my childhood, in turbulent adolescence and challenging adulthood, you have ever been at my side a loyal friend to face the joy and the shadows. 

I will ever remember that both at the happiest of times and the unspeakable moments you were there, really there for me.  

Thanks for reminding me what friendship and family mean.

with love from your cousin

Colette

Electric Fences, pigs and the shocks in life

I had walked along the seafront in Rhodes on my way to tutor a student who lived a good fifty minutes from where I lived.  Not only that, but the last 30 mins were up a very steep hill that made the heart speed up.  To add insult to injury just halfway into my walk I tripped over an uneven paving stone and twisted my ankle.   Lying in a crumpled heap a passing good-natured group of young tourists lifted me up and carried me to a nearby bench.  Their support was really appreciated but after they left I realised that I would have to continue on my way to work.  Strangely after 15 minutes of walking gingerly, the severe pain in my ankle had subsided to only an ache and I could even manage the final steep climb.  

My student lived in a wealthy area on a ridge above the town.  As you get higher up the hill the houses grow in size and opulence.  Swimming pools grow large and the villas spread out over more land and gardens.  My student’s house even has a security gate at the front and gaining access involved endless buzzers and video doorbells on both the outer garden wall entrance and front door.  My lesson took place in a huge living room that held four complete sets of armchairs and sofas in different positions scattered across the thick piled carpet.  Their housekeeper asks us if we want coffee/tea and a snack.  My student is a sulky teenager and he demands a toasted sandwich with an expresso coffee. I say “nothing, thanks”.  Having never had servants I resent this middle-aged Asian woman having to take orders from this bad-tempered teen.  It makes me want to smack him.

Totally unfair I know but, on a day, when I have had to walk with a sore ankle up steep hills to work for obscenely rich people in their penthouse villa with a massive pool my mental irritation seems to trump my physical discomfort.  His younger brother is watching a video, on a massive screen the size of a wall, of killer whales attacking a seal on an ice flow.  

It shocks me that so often rich people’s kids are often so unhappy and resentful.  It shouldn’t, so many things are given to them that the excess seems to have leeched all happiness out of their veins.  It is as if having so much feeds a growing desire to have much more and they perversely feel deprived constantly.  I have observed it in many cultures and this teenager’s constant whining and complaining was not a surprise to me.  Neither was his parent’s constant guilt towards him.  This too I had come across often.  His mother treated her sixteen-year-old with exaggerated care and concern handling him like an unexploded ordinance.   It was of immense satisfaction for me to give these spoilt teenagers a different sort of treatment from what they usually expected.  

In my experience, a parent's guilt acts as rocket fuel for self-pity in teenagers.  I apply the foam extinguisher of ‘not giving a rat’s ass’ and follow it up with the electric fence of high expectations.  During our hour together, I make him work his socks off, and however hard he applies himself I radiate disappointment that he is far below the standard I expect of him.  Such students are so unused to this treatment they try all kinds of distraction/coping strategies.  Whatever they come up with it is vital to keep one’s own composure and to quickly rip off whatever protection they try and apply.  In my experience the faster you react the less chance they have to feel secure about the whole interaction. In fact, keeping such students off balance is exactly what keeps the lesson on track.  

I’m sure there are more knowledgeable ways to make this situation work but my method has the advantage that I quite enjoy their discomfort and lack of control.  It helps that I had only brothers growing up and have three sons of my own and each and every one of them had brains to burn as they say.  Such exposure makes you learn to be pragmatic and to focus only on what is effective in such interactions.  

As a father of a friend of mine said during a speech at his son’s wedding, “You all know Christopher!  He met Yolanda at primary school and decided within a week that she was the one he would marry.  We made him wait until he finished secondary school but you all know Christopher, trying to get him to change his direction is like trying to turn a pig at a gate!”  The farming audience howled in laughter, most having faced many a stubborn pig in their days.  My grandfather reared pigs and I knew all about them having been chased down lanes by his monsters many times.  Trying to get a pig not to go through an open gate was impossible.  My grandfather’s solution was to use electric fences and these usually did the job. However, he had one very bad-tempered boar that just got furious at the shocks from the electric fence and demolished both it and the gate behind it.  

My childhood was full of electric shocks.  When I was a child my grandfather would ask me to take a metal bucket from him in the field and have his hand, behind his back, on the live electric fence.  I would instantly feel the painful shock of electricity blast through me.  He was clever to use other methods to distract me and I remember having to learn to outthink him to avoid getting such shocks.  Years later I remember visiting the farm to find my elderly grandfather in an armchair, no longer so mobile. I introduced my eldest 3-year-old son to him.  My grandfather greeted him warmly and then hauled out his false teeth and set them dramatically on the small table in front of him.  My son ran howling in fear from the room and refused to even enter the room again.  I found myself amused, Granda hadn’t changed and we all just learned to accept the funny unique style of this guy.  My sons would have to learn that lesson too.  They all grew to love him as much as we did. Life takes all of us by surprise at times but it sure helps to learn a bit of robustness early on.  It makes everything else that follows a little easier.

I found when I left the villa my ankle was in agony, being seated had allowed time for the thing to swell.  I limped down the steep hill in front of plush gardens and huge cars to the nearest bus stop.  By the time I got there, I wanted to cry with the pain but sat on the seats in front of the bus stop relieved to be sitting at least.  There were two benches and on the other bench further up the street sat a young school girl with her school bag on the ground in front of her. 

A group of youths appeared pushing and shoving each other and shouting at the bus stop.  They had drinks and became louder and more noticeable.  When would this darn bus come, I thought? One of the youths approached the schoolgirl and started laughing putting his face down close to hers.  She backed away into the seat and he immediately picked up her school bag and tossed it to one of his friends.  Her distress was clear but they were having a great time tossing it between them and laughing.  She didn’t try and get her bag back, she just sat very still.  

Another boy sauntered over and sat down beside her and put his arm along the back of the bench behind her shoulder.  She moved along the bench away from him and there was a chorus of laughter from his mates who were holding out her bag asking her to come and get it.  I was tired and I was in pain but I had had enough.  I limped over to the other bench and sat in the space between the boy and the young girl.  Then, I took my shoe and sock off to inspect the damage I’d done to my ankle. It was hugely swollen and a very odd colour indeed.  I told the boy to move and put my ankle on the bench where he had been sitting.  Just having it elevated brought huge relief.  Now, I just had to worry about getting the sock and shoe back on if the bus came.  

My presence had ruined the gang’s fun and there was an embarrassing moment where they looked at the girl and then at my ankle and then at each other.  One brought her schoolbag reluctantly and dropped it at her feet before drifting back to his mates.  The schoolgirl lifted her bag and hugged it to herself in relief. Nothing was said, nothing needed to be.  Sometimes actions speak louder than words.  In my mind, I remembered my grandfather’s electric fences, his stubborn pigs, and the effectiveness of a bit of a shock in changing perspectives.