A Constant Friend

 

Dear Del,

You have been my childhood companion in anorak and swimsuit holidays in the rain. 

A constant friend on those first exhilarating trips abroad as teenagers. 

Wherever I’ve been, in good times and bad you’ve been there. 

Making the effort to visit, call or write. 

Using every means to bridge the distance that life at times creates. 

You’ve always been generous and kind. 

I remember on my 50th birthday you took to took me to my first-ever spa experience and I sucked up the novelty of being pampered head to toe. 

I treasure a photo of us in our teens dancing together in the ankle-deep waves of the Med laughing and having the time of our lives. 

Most of all I remember standing at a loved one’s grave and feeling as if my heart was being lowered into a deep dark hole. 

I cried my pain and my loss. 

And across the grave, among the many in the crowded graveyard, I saw my pain reflected clearly in your eyes.

Concern love, sympathy, and empathy were all there. 

During my childhood, in turbulent adolescence and challenging adulthood, you have ever been at my side a loyal friend to face the joy and the shadows. 

I will ever remember that both at the happiest of times and the unspeakable moments you were there, really there for me.  

Thanks for reminding me what friendship and family mean.

with love from your cousin

Colette

It has been worse and it can get better!

In 2019 a book was published entitled Epidemics and Society from the Black Death to the present. It was written by Frank M Snowden.  It is fascinating to learn that only half a century ago two infectious disease departments of renowned US universities were closed under the misguided belief that their job was done.  The fact that we are now in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, rates of measles and mumps are rising and even newer infectious diseases are appearing should shake us from that previous complacency.

Snowdon’s book suggests that infectious diseases, over history, have shaped society in ways that are as critical as other crises such as wars, revolution, famine, shortage of water, or economic collapse.  Given that, perhaps we need to give this topic a great deal more attention.  A table can help to put it in historical context (see below).  It certainly indicates that pandemics have been around a long time and highlights how deadly the Justinian plague, the Black Death, and the Spanish Flu were compared to all the rest.  It is salutary to realise that those who survived the killing fields of World War I also endured the deadly Spanish flu that followed it.  In case we thought our present generation was particularly blighted by disease it is worth remembering humanity has seen much worse days.      

A quick look at the WHO disease outbreak page today,  provides an urgent wake-up call. The war-torn Democratic Republic of the Congo is suffering from more than Ebola (fatality rates of 90%). There is also a measles outbreak, and a circulating strain of polio that mutated from the live, weakened one in the oral vaccine. It is worrying to discover that the old enemy of humanity, plague broke out in Madagascar in the last five years. It is endemic in that country, but has been successfully brought under control by the concentrated efforts of International bodies and local government.  It is worth understanding the vocabulary used in discussing diseases.  I have to confess I only recently understood the difference between endemic, outbreak, epidemic, and pandemic.  For something that has impacted us all on so many levels, it is worth understanding these words precisely.

Between March and July of 2021 there has been an outbreak of Middle East Respiratory Syndrome coronavirus in Saudi Arabia.  Although only 810 deaths have occurred, this disease has an eye-watering fatality rate of 35% (Covid 19 is around roughly 2.5%).  In reading the information about this outbreak the WHO declares (WHO)

“Food hygiene practices should be observed. People should avoid drinking raw camel milk or camel urine, or eating meat that has not been properly cooked.”

You are no doubt relieved to hear that your personal risk of catching this disease from eating camels or drinking camel urine is low!  Camels can be easily avoided by most of us, but don’t feel too relaxed this MERS-CoV has demonstrated the ability to transmit between humans too. Indeed other species of animals and creatures are also perfectly capable of spreading diseases to humans.  Monkeys are responsible for the Monkey B virus with a horrendous fatality rate of 42%. Well, I say responsible but if we didn’t hunt, keep, kill and eat such animals we might be fine.  Bats are responsible for horrid diseases with huge fatality rates ranging from Marburg virus at 50% to the Nipah virus with a 75% rate.  Worryingly even the tiny simple Tsetsy fly can cause the African Sleeping disease which has a 42.5% fatality rate.  The cute sounding Dear mouse can cause Hantavisus pulmonary syndrome with a fatality of 36%.  Not to mention bird flu whose fatality rate is also in the region of 20-40%.  Then finally, to freak everyone out there is the Brain-eating amoeba which lives in warm fresh water and enters our body through our noses and results in a 95% fatality rate.  I suspect your feeling of relief at the start of this paragraph has just about dissolved by now.  

There is of course good news on many fronts and I’ll just mention three. 

• When the world collaborates and works together to fight a deadly virus, as in the case of Smallpox, it is incredible what the world can achieve. This virus caused 500 million deaths in its last 100 years of existence but a united humanity managed to eradicate it in 1980.  However, it did take 200 years from the discovery of a successful vaccine for this to happen.  The signs are that the world has been able to speed up this process considerably as shown by the recent Covid 19 pandemic.  However, without a unified approach communities left unprotected from any disease are not only more vulnerable to this disease but also provide a perfect breeding ground for new variants/viruses which can undo all that has been achieved. 

• The other good news is the range of treatments now available for so many of these contagious diseases and this has helped reduce the fatality statistics mentioned earlier.  Providing good timely medical treatment is such a no-brainer we should be supplying it to every human being in need. We should certainly not be allowing immune systems to be weakened through lack of food or access to safe water.  Prevention is not only extremely cost-effective it helps us use our medical interventions in a more targeted way.

• It is excellent to know that our own bodies have a system of defence that is truly breathtaking.  Our immune system has huge groups of cells designed specifically to defend the body from illness and infection. These are crack troops designed to fight pathogens, viruses, bacteria, and mutated cells that seek to do us harm.  We actually have two separate armies to defend us one innate and the other acquired through previous exposure. One army is excellent at attacking quickly, the second is battle-hardened troops who have successfully fought this enemy before.
  
  
  

        

Keeping your immune system functioning normally, via the right nutrition, is a simple preventative step that makes so much sense (mayo clinic advice).  Researchers have also found considerable evidence that positive emotions boost the immune system, while negative emotions act to suppress it. 

        The more you think about the human body and how all the major organs work to keep it healthy perhaps a similar pattern is necessary in a world community working to address the important problems we face.  Diseases can shape societies as history has shown but they also force us to think globally as one people on one planet. 

“The bedrock of a strategy that can engage the world’s population in assuming responsibility for its collective destiny must be the consciousness of the oneness of humankind.” 

Bahá’í International Community

Dear David

A good heart,

kindness embossed throughout,

Expressed in word and deed.

He stood upright, tall and regal.

With a mind clear and agile.

An excellent honest Inspector of police.

He proved himself as one of integrity

in the difficult days of The Troubles

when shifting sands caused better men to stumble.

Perhaps his stability came from his warm faith

working as a Gideon to provide all he could

with what was his mandate - the Bible.

His unusual quiet humility was accompanied

by a deep devotion to his wife.

He met her as a young constable on his bike.

Entering the village shop he heard the bell above the door

and then he saw her!

It was love at first sight.

Instant, total and devoted.

Not some fleeting fancy

but a love that grew over many decades

into over a half-century like a mighty oak.

As once we walked past a neighbour’s home

eighty-year-old David shivered in sympathy.

The owner was recently widowed

David said the thought of him ever losing his own wife

made his heart ache in horror.

But the years brought dementia to his door.

It was hard to see words take flight from his mind.

That agile, fluid, articulate mind began to stumble.

Making a sentence an impossible hurdle.

When he fell down his staircase

and was left with huge black bruises on his chest

he struggled to explain what had happened.

But in trying to express his gratitude

in surviving the bad fall

he raised a finger pointing above

and managed to convey his gratitude

to the "Big Guy" upstairs.

He had three loves.

His wife his Faith and his music.

Long after conversation stopped completely

he could sing the old songs of Ireland

in a beautiful tone that stirred the spirits.

Then that too stopped

and there was nothing

that was not taken from him. 

I will not dwell on this final bereft phase.

Who knows why tests rain down on mighty souls?

Is it perhaps our test not theirs?

Who knows?

But this week he threw off this fleeting shadow of a world.

I like to think of him striding out on sunlight fields.

Full of his old vigour of mind

surrounded by all his great loves.

I am grateful for the fragrance of his existence

that lingers in my mind

the citrus tone that ever cleanses the senses.

Squeezing oranges - undiluted self, pips and all

I write, I pour out my angst,

My guts, my blood.

This is no way to earn a living

It is an opening of the heart

For no reason, but passion.

The need to create,

To let the energy flow.

Not because the world thinks it's worth a jot.

But because such outpouring

is beyond its creator’s control.

I do not ask myself why be creative?

I ask myself, how can I stop?

So judge not, if crap flows.

Or at times worthy insights emerge.

The need to pour

Oneself undiluted, 

good or bad

Is a call to be alive

All must answer in their own way.

Heroes and Kittens

Was down town trying to keep up with my mother.  She sets a blistering pace with daily tasks to be achieved and an attitude to life that is productivity focussed.  Gardens, houses, clothes, bathrooms, cupboards, carpets, bills, financial papers read, letters to be written etc.  Boredom is not something she has ever experienced.  That is probably why she refuses to wait for anyone or anything.  Abundant with all sorts of virtues patience is not one of them.  Her name Emily means industrious and by name and nature she epitomises that word. 

So when I hear a small kitten crying I have to quickly draw her attention before she is miles ahead of me on the pavement.  Stopping, we both listen attentively – nothing but the normal traffic noises around us.  But when I make that wishwish sound, one does to cats, the kitten cries again loudly in response.  The sound is coming from under the bonnet of a red Fiesta parked with a disabled sticker on its window.  Tentatively approaching the vehicle we hear the piteous cry again.  It is definitely coming from under the bonnet of the empty car.  We peer under wheel arches, crouch down to look under the car but see nothing. 

A couple of ladies join us listening intently and, in response to the tiny fur balls squeals, agree that it “is a kitten stuck somewhere in the engine”.  Into this now growing crowd of well-wishers comes more people including the owner of the car.  She hands over her car keys, so one chap could pop the bonnet.  With that achieved most of us lean over the engine and peer into the innards of the car.  There deep down under spark plugs and hoses etc is a tiny fluffy kitten howling its distress and looking up hopefully at us.  First the man and then each of us tries to reach down past cables to pull the kitten us but to no avail. 

One stranger goes into a nearby supermarket and returns with a box of dried cat food to try and entice the kitten down to the ground from the engine frame.  This does not work and by now the crowd on the pavement and road has grown to a critical mass.  People are now flocking to the scene because there is a sufficient number of people to cause curious stares and interest.  All have their own ideas to share, “Shall I call the police?” “Whose is it?”, “There is a garage down the road!”, “How long has it been in there?”  Every newcomer is rapidly filled in by those in the know and all the while the piteous cry of the kitten urges action on us all. 

A tiny thin girl appears from the supermarket in her blue uniform with tattoos down each arm.  She leans forward and her matchstick arm does the impossible, she reaches down through the tiny convoluted spaces and pulls out the frightened kitten.  We are all relieved that a rescue has been engineered.  I look around at all the well-meaning faces and know that these people are those who could not walk past without expressing concern and taking action to help.  So many good souls on a pavement ridiculously pleased that with all the pain and loss in this world, a tiny furry kitten has been saved at least.  I suddenly wanted to celebrate the inherent unspoken goodness of all these strangers and savour this moment but my Mum is off.  No time to stand and stare, there are things to do, no wasting time she is off, an unstoppable force and I race to keep up.

Blistering Barnacles

Am aware that I tend to fluctuate

But after all that is me

Riddled with self doubt

But blown into action in a second

Not clam and centred

But bored then blazing

No happy medium here

Just blistering barnacles by nature

Here’s a sympathetic quote on the theme

“I have never known anyone worth a damn who wasn't irascible.”

Ezra Pound

Or a nicer way to look at it

“It was not that she was out of temper, but that the world was not equal to the demands of her fine organism.”

George Eliot

But I suspect this is closer to the truth of it!

“When you're in the right, you can afford to keep your temper. When in the wrong, you can't afford to lose it.”

Unknown

Jimmy and Eleni

We had some wonderful friends on Rhodes, Greece.  Jimmy and Eleni were just like angels.  We met Eleni, when we went to Greek classes at a nearby centre.  My depressing attempts to learn Greek were disheartening.  Despite my best attempts to memorise words for homework, my brain was incapable of keeping this information for any degree of time.  As a result, after months of classes my Greek was worse than awful and even the newcomers from Albania or Russia were outstripping me within weeks of starting.  But the best part of that class was Eleni.  She was Greek and a lovely radiant 60 year old.  She attended the classes to help with our pronunciation and her kindness was a salve.  Gradually, we got to meet her husband Jimmy another wonderful soul.  They lived in Koskinou and had a lovely house in a huge garden of fruit trees.  Sitting having coffee in their garden with the apricots hanging over us was heavenly.  Eleni did a good turn everyday in her father’s name.  Such a sweet thing to do in memory of someone you love.  We would arrive home to our flat to find a huge bag of fresh delicious fruit hanging on our door handle.  Or the day my youngest son learnt his first Greek word (it happened to be the Greek word for watch) and she bought him a small watch to encourage him to learn more!  Jimmy and Eleni are wonderful people inside and out.  Such a privilege to know them and I hug myself in glee to know they are on Rhodes cultivating a fertile garden out back and radiating love and kindness to all they encounter.

What is the source of all Good and the essence of wisdom?

Trusting in God is hard especially when times are really hard, when it seems as if not just one aspect of life goes wrong but many.  Work, family, health problems can come together in a perfect storm and when nothing is going your way you still have to trust, submit and be content with God’s will.  Such acquiescence is not easy, but it does, in the midst of great suffering, mould special strengthened souls.  Plutarch (46 – 120 AD) was Greek historian, biographer and essayist knew this when he wrote these two statements.

“Those who aim at great deeds must also suffer greatly.” 

 

“To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future.”

To be really wise is to tread carefully understanding God’s commands and His love of justice.  To live one’s life not only loving God but fearing Him also.  This fear is a sturdy shield from wrong doing and the love a constant call to do what is right and just.  I love the work of C S Lewis and this quote of his demonstrates his wisdom and insights in understanding what path to walk and how to walk it.

“Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After
all, you find out the strength of the army by fighting against
it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to
walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation
after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like
an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little
about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.
We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we
try to fight it.”

But if we are to be truly wise we must be sure we are not sheep following blindly the path others have worn down before us.  This Welsh proverb cuts to the chase and indicates the importance of reason and rational in guiding us. 

“Reason is the wise man's guide, example the fool's. “

So I wish you strength, wisdom and reason in working out a good path for yourself.

Ain’t I a woman? and The Real Good poems

At our creative writing group today we were asked to bring in poems and there was a surprising mixture but really enjoyable.  Here are two, hope you enjoy them.
 A poem from Sojourner Truth's most famous speech (Ain't I A Woman? by Sojourner Truth Delivered in 1851 at the Women's Convention in Akron, Ohio), adapted into poetic form by Erlene Stetson.  Sojourner Truth was born a black female slave in 1797 and yet her words are so powerful it takes you by surprise.

Ain’t I a woman?

That man over there say
     a woman needs to be helped into carriages
and lifted over ditches
     and to have the best place everywhere.
Nobody ever helped me into carriages
   or over mud puddles
      or gives me a best place. . .

And ain't I a woman?
     Look at me
Look at my arm!
     I have plowed and planted
and gathered into barns
     and no man could head me. . .
And ain't I a woman?
   I could work as much
and eat as much as a man--
   when I could get to it--
and bear the lash as well
   and ain't I a woman?
I have born 13 children
     and seen most all sold into slavery
and when I cried out a mother's grief
     none but Jesus heard me. . .
and ain't I a woman?
     that little man in black there say
a woman can't have as much rights as a man
     cause Christ wasn't a woman
Where did your Christ come from?
     From God and a woman!
Man had nothing to do with him!
     If the first woman God ever made
was strong enough to turn the world
     upside down, all alone
together women ought to be able to turn it
     rightside up again.

The second poem below was just a feel good one that had heads nodding all around the room.
   
The Real Good
John Boyle O'Reilly 
         
 "What is the real good?"
I ask in a musing mood.

"Order," said the law court;
"Knowledge," said the school;
"Truth," said the wise man;
"Pleasure," said the fool;
"Love," said the maiden;
"Beauty," said the page;
"Freedom," said the dreamer;
"Home," said the sage;
"Fame," said the soldier;
"Equity," said the seer.
Spake my heart fully sad:
"The answer is not here."

Then within my bosom,
Softly this I heard:
"Each heart holds the secret:
'Kindness' is the word."