A Constant Friend

 

Dear Del,

You have been my childhood companion in anorak and swimsuit holidays in the rain. 

A constant friend on those first exhilarating trips abroad as teenagers. 

Wherever I’ve been, in good times and bad you’ve been there. 

Making the effort to visit, call or write. 

Using every means to bridge the distance that life at times creates. 

You’ve always been generous and kind. 

I remember on my 50th birthday you took to took me to my first-ever spa experience and I sucked up the novelty of being pampered head to toe. 

I treasure a photo of us in our teens dancing together in the ankle-deep waves of the Med laughing and having the time of our lives. 

Most of all I remember standing at a loved one’s grave and feeling as if my heart was being lowered into a deep dark hole. 

I cried my pain and my loss. 

And across the grave, among the many in the crowded graveyard, I saw my pain reflected clearly in your eyes.

Concern love, sympathy, and empathy were all there. 

During my childhood, in turbulent adolescence and challenging adulthood, you have ever been at my side a loyal friend to face the joy and the shadows. 

I will ever remember that both at the happiest of times and the unspeakable moments you were there, really there for me.  

Thanks for reminding me what friendship and family mean.

with love from your cousin

Colette

Letter to a Son

Del (my cousin) flies back tomorrow and it has been a whirlwind of meals/hotel and outings.  The upside is a whole range of experiences that I would otherwise have missed.  The hotel on Gozo was lovely, not far from the Azure window and has an amazing Turkish spa.  Marble tiles with basins of hot and cold water and ornate bowls with which to pour the stuff over you.   The tiles on the huge table and benches/walls are heated.  So whether you lie prone or sit leaning against the walls you are embraced by the wet warmth.  

Power showers are everywhere/plunge pools/swimming pools with massive waterfalls that blast your shoulder muscles into submission.  In the entrance of the spa are jugs of scented oil with which to anoint hair and skin.  Next to the Hamman is a darkened room with sun lounges/cushions laid out among the candles and low meditative music plays you lie tranquil surrounded by the novelty of no distractions.  Your mind settles like a pool without occupants.  A glass stillness reflecting your reflections.  Del and I lay in total silence for an hour, well, Del slept actually.  

In fact, I have observed Del can fall asleep on a canteen table, on three seats in the ferry terminal, prone on a sun-baked wall and even on a bench overlooking the coast.  She even fell asleep ipad crushed between forearms, hands together in supplication.  It is a great gift from God to be able to sleep anywhere!  

I look on amazed and struck by how different we all are.  It is so precious to share time with others as it opens a window to a completely different world.  Most of the time we have to settle for our own small keyhole on things.  I have meaning to write to you for sometime and then didn’t get round to it.  I need to warm up so as to speak.  Get my writing going again.  So forgive my rustiness.  

So satisfying to have those wonderful drawings of yours pour out and thanks for sharing them with me.  I studied them and their names with interest.  When being creative it is hard to know where the pen will go next but it is delightful to see creation unfold.  It is in that inner absorption that makes magic appear and you are fortunate indeed to have a magic wand (pen/pencil) that takes you to such a mysterious place.  Opening that door to an inner place in all of us that we cannot miss out on.

I’d love to see you with your own little art studio room all set up with implements at the ready and walls covered with your creations.  Being able to go to that place whenever the need/desire came.  If I’m honest I’d also love to see you surrounded with lovely people that bask in your ability to love and who also radiate that back.  Being able to have those wonderful nurturing conversations that you engender in all that meet you.  

For me having my own children blew my mind and heart.  It’s like producing a piece of art that is better than anything you can devise.  A part of you and the one you love but better than both of you.  A masterpiece that changes with each day but lodges itself deep within your heart.  With each hug and laugh they embed hooks deep within heart muscle making you melt with joy.  I regret many things I have done.  Wish I’d done so many things differently/wisely/patiently but you three boys have made my life joyous despite all my stumbling.  

Know how much you bring to my life.  How I hug myself in delight at your happiness and am inconsolable when worries cloud your day.  If I had my way I would have wrapped you all in cotton wool protected from all harm but what sort of life is that?  No, I must celebrate your freedom, your independence, your successes and triumphs however hard won.  

Choose good people to have around.  Such fellowship cleanses the rust from off our heart and allows us to lower the barriers that are needed to protect us from others!  There are definitely those that suck us dry emotionally and there are those that we find in their presence our souls grow.  We become people we like more, not less.  Keeping your finger on that pulse that tells us which direction this person brings to us is vital.  You, who are so intuitive, have a great advantage.  I stumble blind in this world, not able to distinguish the good from the bad.  Only through painful experience does my antenna get the message, ‘run, run, run like the wind!’  Well, I did warn you that my writing was rusty so apologies for all this rambling.  I hope you can make more sense of it than I can.  Know that it is sent with all my love and gratitude.  Thanks again for all your love and for making this world sweeter!

Lots of love

freezing white plump middle aged

Greetings dear Friend

You have been my companion through half a century.

Through anorak holidays in the rain, excitedly pumping big pennies into slot machines

And a fellow traveller in exploring Europe for the first time in our heady student days

Wherever I’ve been in good times and bad

You’ve been there, travelling across the globe to keep the link alive

Making the effort to call or write

Using every means to bridge the distance

You’ve been generous and kind

I remember my fiftieth birthday and you took me to my first spa

Soaking up the novelty of being pampered head to toe

I remember all the laughter and time together and grin

I hate how every year in April you come to the north coast and insist we enter the sea at the White Rocks in bathing suits, freezing white Plump middle aged women screaming with the pain

Why did that become a tradition I want to know!