Shit Lessons

When I was six, my parents returned from Australia to the village Dungiven, high in the Sperrin mountains in Northern Ireland. On my first day in the village primary school I felt like the odd one out with my Australian accent and was nervously playing with the salt and pepper glass containers on the table at lunchtime. Unfortunately, I managed in my nervousness to smash one of them. The headmaster’s wife flew down vulturelike and was furious with me.

She proceeded to tell the entire school and a terrified me, that since the top of the small salt seller was mirrored, I had, in fact, broken a mirror and would now have 7 years of bad luck. My maths was good enough to work out that my life would be pretty horrid until I turned 13. 

Lesson 1: Shit can happen. 

Strangely when I was 13, seven years later, and waiting outside my secondary school for the bus home a bird pooped on my head. I remember the embarrassment of all the white shit in my hair. Given that the seven years bad luck had almost ended I remember hoping that it had marked the last of an unlucky seven years. However, another cynical part of me made a mental note.

Lesson 2: Unexpectedly, shit can even fall from above.

In my university, studying science, one of my friends was really into shit. He was keen on building biodigesters (this was almost half a century ago!) and eager, to point out that slurry (shit) could be fed into a biodigester and be broken down into wonderful useful compost and valuable methane.

Creating good stuff out of crap seemed a no-brainer to us all. He graduated with a first class, honours, and did a PhD on the same subject and spent ages promoting biodigesters everywhere to anyone who would listen. To his distress, farmers and industrial polluters alike weren’t interested at all. They explained it was simply cheaper to dump it in rivers and lakes and pay a fine. He approached government authorities like the department of Agriculture and the Water Service and explained the situation. They weren’t interested either. 

Lesson 3: Some people simply don’t give a shit.

Two decades passed and I had a family with three sons and a new home, a gatelodge in Magheramourne.  Before long, I discovered, there was shit in my garden. Not a solitary dog poop messing up the green lawn but a swimming pool of the stuff at the bottom of my garden. I flagged it up to the relevant authorities and soon a man in overalls came to inspect. Over two years, more and more men came, in increasingly better clothing, and all agreed that it certainly looked and smelt like a ditch full of shit. Eventually, even our local MP came to view my shit ditch.

One of the Department of agricultural officials politely expressed concern about the health and safety of my three young children with such a hazard so close.   It turned out that our lodge house was suffering from the sewage funnelled from the neighbouring stately home. It had been converted into a hotel but still used the same septic tank designed for a single family. As a result, raw sewage poured in and out of the septic tank. When sized correctly solids have time to settle at the base of the tank and the overflow pipe higher up the tank allows water to drain out. It’s not a high-tech affair but when shit capacity exceeds the septic tank's ability to separate solids from liquids then the consequences are pretty dire.  Shit flows in and out unchanged by its quick visit to the septic tank.

After doing two years of everything by the book, eventually writing to even the ombudsman, the hotel was fined a tiny amount. Much less than the cost of replacing their useless septic tank. In hindsight, I should’ve had the courage to take two bucket loads of the raw sewage to the hotel lobby and poured it around the reception area explaining that I was returning their shit from whence it came. No doubt I would’ve been arrested but the subsequent bad publicity for the hotel would have caused them more than the piddling little fine. 

Lesson 4: Sometimes you have to spend years dealing with other people’s shit.

It is now almost sixty years from my first shit encounter at primary school and my biodigester friend was in the local news this week.  He had been invited on the radio to speak about the blue-green algae causing devastation in Lough Neagh (the biggest lough in the UK and Ireland) and our rivers and coastlines.  For the first time people were instructed not to swim in these waters due to the high levels of toxins.  Dogs can die from ingestion of the contaminated water and it can cause suffocation of fish and other creatures.  My friend explained why there was an increase in this blue algae blooms (they are actually not algae at all but a type of bacteria called cyanobacteria which requires sunlight, nutrients and carbon dioxide to grow and reproduce).  He explained that agricultural fertiliser runoff and waste water systems provide the perfect conditions for the algae to flourish.  It is easy to only blame farmers, industries and businesses for their contribution to the problem we are now facing however there are other surprising contributors too. On the 12th September it was revealed that NI Water (a government owned company) was fined 170, 000 pounds for releasing 70 million tons of untreated sewage into local rivers and lakes over the past ten years.  In fact, it is estimated that each year they now release 7 million tons of untreated sewage.  I remember being so disappointed with the department officials who did nothing when the hotel poured their sewage into my garden.  Decades later it is these very departmental bodies themselves who are pouring shit into our waterways.

Lesson 5: It’s important to find out who is responsible for the shit.

Maurice vomits every morning just slowly until night prevails

Artist's impression of Pluto showing one of its large moons that never sets

In our family, this mnemonic was how we remembered the planets and their order in terms of distance from the sun.  Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.  My eldest brother Maurice has a sensitive stomach so this saying was close enough to the truth to make it easier to remember.  

Imagine my upset when in 2002 new data processing technologies discovered a series of planet-like objects orbiting the sun close to the orbit of Pluto.  This included Eris, Haumea, Makemake, Gonggong, Quaoar, Sedna and Orcus.  Indeed, one of them Eris is about the same size as Pluto.  However, Pluto is only 1/400th the size of Earth and is even smaller than our moon.  This bunch of objects along with Pluto were renamed dwarf planets instead of planets.  Planets were redefined as objects that met three critical requirements

(a) is in orbit around the Sun

(b) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape

(c) has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

It is the last of these requirements clearing the space around it that these dwarf planets fail to do.  One look at the Kuiper Belt indicates a failure of good housekeeping, it is far too messy. The strong gravitational field around a real planet serves to either capture, attract or perturb smaller objects around it. Those objects that pass the first two criteria but fail the third were renamed dwarf planets. 

No one really cared about these newcomers being downgraded to dwarf status but for some reason, a lot of people got really upset about Pluto no longer being a proper planet.  Pluto was found to have five moons of its own but did have an unusual orbit. All the other planets have orbits that lie as if on the surface of a plate extending out around the sun but Pluto has this weird tilted orbit going on.  

The Kuiper Belt where Pluto resides is one of the largest structures in our solar system.  It is like a huge donut, vast, mysterious and cold and dark.  Much, much further out there is another structure called the Oort Cloud, a spherical region of icy comet-like bodies and both the Kuiper Belt and the Oort cloud are sources of comets.  

Obviously, Pluto this black sheep of the family, was not only devoid of good housekeeping but deliberately ignoring the basic rules of the solar system.  

All those years ago I resented that my family mnemonic had been messed about by forces beyond our control.  But actually, comets have been having an incredible impact on our solar system over history. Take for example the Chicxulub comet which impacted 66 million years ago in Mexico. It created a crater 93 miles across and 12 miles deep.  It caused the Cretaceous-Paleogene mass extinction of three-quarters of the plant and animal species on Earth.  A recently published scientific paper has managed to connect 5 out of 6 mass extinctions of life with times of enhanced impact cratering on Earth.  The author concluded with the frank but frightening statement, “This cosmic cycle of death and destruction has without doubt affected the history of life on our planet.”

Worryingly Jupiter, which is 300 times the size of the Earth, has been found to act a bit like a huge pinball machine in defecting incoming long-period comets into orbits close to the sun and our vicinity.  Halley’s comet, which comes from the Oort Cloud revisits every 75/76 years and was first recorded in 240 BC and has been recorded since on innumerable other occasions like 1066 on the Bayeux tapestry. Mark Twain famously said he came into the world with the arrival of Halley’s Comet and would go out with the next. In his autobiography, published in 1909, he said,

“I came in with Halley's comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.” 

Twain died on 21 April 1910, the day following the comet's subsequent perihelion.

There are also many other striking features of comets that should be recorded.

The Hale Bopp Comet is large at 35 km in diameter and has a really long orbit.  It passed Earth in 2215 BC and didn't return until 1997.  The next time it comes our way will be 4385, so a long wait.  In the 6th dynasty reign of the Pharaoh Pepi II which coincided with the 2215BC comet appearance, his pyramid has text mentioning a star appearing.  This star is particularly noticeable, after all, it is 6 times the size of Halley's Comet and in its 1997 flyby, it became the brightest comet for decades and was visible for twice as long (18.5 months) as the Great Comet of 1811.  Sadly such evident celestial signs in the sky are often misinterpreted here on Earth.  In the case of the Hale Bopp Comet, 39 members of the Heaven's Gate Movement in the US committed mass suicide in March 1997 with the goal of teleporting to a spaceship they believed to be behind the comet.

In Jan 2004 NASA’s Stardust probe flew within 236km of comet Wild2, which is 5km in diameter, and managed to capture samples from its trail.  These were returned to earth and found to contain glycine a fundamental building block of life. Perhaps comets as well as taking life have also contributed life to planets? 

On 4th July 2005, NASA’s Deep Impact probe fired a washing machine-sized object into the path of the comet Tempel 1.  It created a hole in the comet the size of a football stadium.  This comet is 6km in size and orbits every 5/6 years.

The European Space Probe in 2014 managed to put a lander on the comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko and there is actually a video of what it captured on the surface of this comet!  It blew my mind to see this clip. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/67P/Churyumov%E2%80%93Gerasimenko#/media/File:67P_Churyumov-Gerasimenko_surface.gif

Given that comets and asteroids are prone to come flying Earth’s way with depressing regularity it is heartening to see someone practicing what to do if we manage to spot one on a collision course towards us in time. Just last year in 2022, after 10 months of flying in space, NASA’s Double Asteroid Redirection Test (DART) successfully impacted the asteroid Dimorphos. This asteroid was no danger to us but it proved that it was possible to move an asteroid in space and it succeeded in deflecting its course. You can watch a video of this collision here https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-s-dart-mission-hits-asteroid-in-first-ever-planetary-defense-test. Perhaps there is a part of you, like me, hoping they don’t nudge one into a collision course with earth while practicing!

Mind you we shouldn’t resent these impacts as there is evidence that a powerful impact on Earth probably created the moon around 4.1-3.8 billion years ago.  Without the moon’s tidal impacts on our sea, life as we know it may not have even begun. As a recent Scientific American article put it, “…the lineages that ultimately gave rise to humans were at first intertidal.”  Without those specific regions of the seashore, that are covered at high tide and uncovered at low tide, the viable condition for life may not have occurred.  Even more compelling is current scientific theories suggesting that all the water on Earth was acquired from water-rich comets or asteroids hurled here by the influence of Jupiter. When we talk of the ‘water of life’ perhaps we need to be grateful for Jupiter’s pinball nature.  Jupiter’s huge gravitational field in some ways also protects Earth as it also acts as the vacuum cleaner of the solar system sucking in some asteroids and comets.  One confirmation of this is the fate of the comet Shoemaker Levy-9 which hit the giant planet Jupiter in 1994.  This struck with the force of 300 million atomic bombs and left traces of water in Jupiter’s atmosphere reinforcing both Jupiter’s protection role but also proving the ability of comets to donate water to planets. 

Possibly, amidst all the chaos of flying objects and collisions, both destructive and constructive, life finds a way.  Perhaps, like in the rest of the Cosmos, things can arrive in our own lives unexpectedly and devastate what we hold dear.  We just have to hope that something in that pain and chaos may contribute to our future growth and development.

“… this endless universe is like the human body, and … all its parts are connected one with another and are linked together in the utmost perfection.”

‘Abdu’l Bahá

Why are the Wealthy buying all the Water?

Sometimes the immediate problem is so overwhelming that it does not allow a broader perspective. Scenes of thousands or tens of thousands of refugees fleeing to Europe has tested the heart and integrity of many institutions. Since so many European leaders were elected to reduce newcomers to their borders, there was a major landslide of right wing groups to positions of power. Contrast that, with the overwhelming humanitarian response engendered in so many European citizens at the obvious helplessness of refugees fleeing war.  That photograph of a tiny drowned three year old on a beach in Turkey hit home. 

The media shows its ingrained amoral approach with headlines screaming, “Build a bigger wall to keep the hoards out!” or “Our Culture under threat!” The next day they proclaim self righteously, “How many more must die getting to Europe?”  Our frenetic bipolar media is driven by circulation figures and set their moral compass by the prevailing wind direction. It seems our politicians, institutions or media are not to be trusted. So perhaps a clearer perspective can be gained by examining not what they are saying but what they are doing? 

George Bush (net worth $20 million) is busy buying huge qualities of land, 300,000 acres in the sparsely populated wastes of Paraguay, in South America. His land, though not impressive in appearance, rests atop one of the largest freshwater aquifers in the world: Acuifero Guarani.

Acuifero Guarani covers roughly 460,000 square miles under parts of Brazil, Paraguay, Uruguay and Argentina and is estimated to contain about 8,900 cubic miles of water.  Other major companies are following his path, as water has been identified as a critical commodity. Wall Street banks and multibillionaires are acquiring water assets as fast as they possibly can. Philippine’s Manuel V. Pangilinan (net worth $508 million), Hong Kong’s Li Ka-shing (net worth $26.6 billion) and T. Boone Pickens (net worth US$1.2 billion) are racing to get their hands on this newest commodity, more precious and vital than oil.  Legal structures are already strengthening their strangle hold on water rights. Gary Harrington’s case in Oregon is an example. He tried to use rain water collected in  three ponds on his own land ended up in prison for 30 days. Contrast this with Boone Pickens draining 65,000,000 gallons of water a year from the Ogallala Aquifer.  Note: Once depleted, the aquifer will take over 6,000 years to replenish naturally through rainfall

Those of you experiencing an endless downpour (as in N. Ireland!), are probably asking what is so special about water? Well, like most things such as mobility, health and security  it is not until you lose something that you begin to appreciate how important it is. In the case of water, man-made climate change has altered our world. To get a broader perspective we have to look at our world and understand where droughts have been happening.

East Africa has suffered from the worst drought in 60 years.  Somalia. Dibouti, Ethiopia and Kenya are suffering and the resulting disastrous harvests mean starvation is not far behind these droughts.  In Afghanistan, as a result of droughts, 60-80% of their livestock has died.  In India 130 million people have been affected by water shortages.  Iran has just had their worst drought in a hundred years.  Morocco’s worst drought in a decade has affected 70% of its arable land.  Three million people in Pakistan face starvation due to drought devastated crops.  Brazil has faced its worst drought in 80 years and São Paulo with a population11.8 million (a megacity) is dealing with a nasty water crisis.   South Africa has had their worst drought since 1992 (twenty three years ago).  Syria, from 2006 to 2011 suffered their worst drought and crop failure in recorded history.  Is the picture becoming clear?  Climate change is happening and the resulting water shortages with crop failures are destabilising, creating wars and millions of refugees.

How does the world respond?  Will nationalism, xenophobia and chaos do anything other than empower the really rich and really powerful to proceed with an agenda that beggars belief.  The gap between rich and poor has never been greater.  “Billionaires and politicians gathering in Switzerland this week will come under pressure to tackle rising inequality after a study found that – on current trends – by next year, 1% of the world’s population will own more wealth than the other 99%.” Don’t expect those without water, food or security to stay and die at home quietly.  They cannot be the price the rich are willing to pay for their bottom line.  Ask yourself, if it was your family what would you do?  Would staying put even be an option?

By not standing back to see the broader picture we can waste so many valuable resources.  When Southern and Central Somalia’s acute malnutrition rose from 16.4% to 36.4% in 2011 the world was having to spend three million dollars over five months to truck in water.  Spending only 900,000 dollars to mitigate the drought and build up water resources beforehand would have saved money and more lives.

We have an obligation to ask the larger questions.  Why, when the earth is facing global challenges  that are frankly more scary than anyone wants to admit (climate predictions) are we allowing the flames of nationalism and economic greed prevent us from finding a sensible and sustainable way forward. When people get annoyed at an influx of refugees from Syria, Afghanistan or Somalia at least let us be armed with the facts behind their heartache and suffering.


1. http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-new-water-barons-wall-street-mega-banks-are-buying-up-the-worlds-water/5383274
2.  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/corporations-grabbing-land-and-water-overseas/
3.  http://www.citymetric.com/horizons/drought-megacity-sao-paulo-withering-after-dry-wet-season-1244
4. http://agorafinancial.com/2015/04/24/why-did-george-bush-buy-nearly-300000-acres-in-paraguay/
5.  http://www.wri.org/blog/2015/06/global-tour-7-recent-droughts

Malta and its underground tunnels

Well, am in Malta and adjusting to the change in climate, change in job and change in home.  Still a bit shell shocked at how quickly one’s life can change.  Walked along the sea front and was blown away by how beautiful this island is.  A sense of history everywhere.  Huge walled city from the time of the Crusades and each street looks like it is out of an Indiana Jones film.  You expect secret passages and underground tombs, intricate stone carvings are everywhere.  Having lived on Rhodes for almost a decade it is weird to be on Malta as when the Crusaders left Rhodes it was to Malta they came.  It feels like I am following their path, albeit centuries later.  Spotted a group of older local people in the middle of a bay with huge hats on their heads while treading water.  There were almost half a dozen of them all happily chatting away while the huge walls of the city loomed overhead.  Decided to go for a swim there too, as from my experience such characters generally know the best places to swim.  It was delightful and the water so refreshing from the heat.  Gosh, you really feel alive and awake.  One of the ancient stories about this island claimed that one could walk underground from one end of Malta to the other, through ancient tunnels and catacombs.  So it is weird to find this fascinating bit about Malta in National Geographic 2009.

Lost Crusaders' Tunnels Found Near Palace on Malta

Discovered in February 2009 in the capital of the Mediterranean island nation of Malta, this tunnel is thought to be part of a centuries-old underground water system built by the Knights of Malta.

Established in the 11th century, the military order was a key fighting force in the Crusades and The Knights of Malta ruled the island from 1530 to 1798. For centuries it's been said that the crusading Knights of Malta constructed an underground city on the Mediterranean island of Malta, sparking rumours of secret carriageways and military labyrinths.

Now a tunnel network has been uncovered beneath the historic heart of the Maltese capital of Valletta fueling excitement about the truth of such rumours.

The newfound tunnels are said to date back to the 16th and early 17th centuries, when the knights—one of the major Christian military orders of the 11th- to 13th-century Crusades—fortified Valletta against Muslim attack.

The tunnels were uncovered on February 24 during an archaeological survey of the city's Palace Square in advance of an underground-garage project.

Experts think the newly revealed tunnels—though tall enough to allow human passage—formed part of an extensive water system used to pipe vital supplies to the city.

The tunnels were found beneath Palace Square, opposite the Grandmaster's Palace. Once home to the leader of the Knights of Malta, the palace today houses Malta's legislature and the office of the Maltese president.

First, workers found what's believed to have been an underground reservoir just under the paving stones of Palace Square. Near the bottom of the reservoir, some 40 feet (12 meters) down, they discovered a large opening in a reservoir wall—the entrance to a tunnel, which runs half the length of the square and connects to channels, some of which lead toward the palace.  Water security was a major priority during the city's construction, the goal being to maintain the supply even during future sieges.

Water was therefore transported to the city from valleys to the west via an aqueduct, the remains of which still stand. The Palace Square location of the newfound tunnels supports the idea that the network was intended for water. The tunnel apparently fed a grand fountain in Palace Square via the underground reservoir. The fountain was later moved when the British ruled the island, from 1814 to 1964.

This fountain marked the very important achievement of getting water to the city.

By comparison, major cities like London and Vienna "were still wallowing in their own muck."

Liked that line about London and Vienna wallowing in their own muck!  Just goes to show that making a modern car park can uncover more than you bargained for.  Glad to see the authorities changed their mind about the car park, given the excitement about their unexpected finds underground.