Thursday, 16 May 2019

Real Winners Often Mess Everything For Everyone


In this world which has glorified materialism over all other considerations is it not surprising that suicide is growing now approaching 1 million a year. The factors that fuel such a dire loss to the family, friends and wider community may also be perversely contributing to the sixth extinction and environmental damage on a global scale.


At what point do we recognise we are responsible for each other, for every living human on this planet, for the creatures that share it with us and for the priceless legacy that is the planet we all inhabit?

If I can make monstrous amount of money selling drugs ( at huge damage to society), peddling fossil fuels rather than renewables (contributing to global warming), continue to market/make cigarettes or alcohol (with associated deaths and health consequences), expand the gambling industry, increase sex business (Human trafficking earns profits of roughly $150 billion a year[1]) or harvest the remaining forests in the world, destroying the lungs of our planet (Between 1990 and 2016, the world lost forests larger in size to the entire  country of South Africa[2]and polluting our seas[3] then why should these activities ever stop?  If making money is the sole pursuit, at whatever cost short or long term, then lets at least be honest about its consequences.

In a world which values winners over principles what sort of society do we end up with? And at what cost are such profits made? I speak not only of the economic injustices but also the precedents that have made these activities the habits even the aspirations of people everywhere. Practices that are copied and cultivated by the new 'would be winners' of each succeeding generation.

We often worry about the local drug dealer in our area with his flashy car and evident ill-gotten gains. In a neighbourhood beset with destitution and unemployment, his example becomes seen as the only surefire route out of poverty. What does it do in terms of peer group pressure? What does it say to our young? However, there are many other drivers of suicide apart from that already mentioned.  Some are surprisingly unexpected but may be useful to see this issue more clearly.

Age Effects
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year old’s globally[4].  Is this not shocking and unacceptable in equal measures?


Climate Change – too changeable


Between 2012 and 2015 over 10,000 farmers committed suicide in India[5]. It is speculated that the inability to get the right price, crop failures and insurmountable debt are the factors that drive these extraordinary figures. It is also evident that the increasing frequency[6] of events such as drought and floods exasperate these problems.

Geographical Location – too far north and too sunny
Greenland suffers from the highest suicide rate in the world, indeed twice that of the second highest, Lithuania. Since this rate is somewhat similar to the high rate of suicide in the Inuit in the north of Canada it has been speculated that geographical location may be significant. In particular, being high in the Arctic Circle seems to produce larger numbers of suicides (suicide and Greenland). Perversely, the suicides do not peak in the dark of the Arctic winter, as one might expect, when there is no sunlight for months. Instead, suicides are at their maximum in June when there is no night.



Economic Austerity – the silent killer stealing lives


Mortality increased substantially in Russia after the economic crisis in 1998, with even life expectancy falling to 58.9 years among men and 71.8 years among women by 2001. It is estimated that an extra 2.5-3 million Russian adults died in middle age in the period 1992-2001 than would have been expected based on 1991 mortality[7].

So what can be done?
The truth is that many of these factors mentioned above probably act together in terms of providing the perfect storm that costs lives.  In one memorable science fiction film, society could monitor deaths live.  There was an instant obvious alarm on a global online screen as one life after another was taken/lost.  I would like to speculate if we could all have that information fed back to us on a global basis our priorities would change instantly.  If natural feedback on the loss of human life could be given would our real responsibilities be made clearer. If our choices could be coloured by even this basic understanding would it change how we act?  

On one depressing level, I think perhaps no.  After all, for years, we all have known the health consequences of smoking, overeating etc but our poor habits persist.  We know war is an awful business which devastates countries and nations but we find excuses to have them.  

But on the other hand, I feel humanity as a whole is noble and there are more good people than bad out there.  When there is war or a breakdown in society it is the worst of us that come to the fore not the best.  So, when I think of suicide or loss of life I am reminded of all those who love and support others, who work in the fields of sustaining health or who create warm united families and communities.  Such environments are safety nets for those of us who experience the perfect storm in our lives.  My Dad's favourite comedian was Tony Hancock who took his own life and left this note,

"Things just seemed to go too wrong too many times".   
Tony Hancock
The sadness and honesty of that line hurts the heart.  But a thought-provoking suicide note was found written by another poor soul which simply said,
I won’t kill myself. As long as someone smiles at me today.”
So, if you have the energy, do smile at someone today, it could make all the difference.  Perhaps, there are four qualities which are lovely to find in people and which enrich lives both in the short term and long term.  They may not make you materially better off but they are game changers in their own way.
  1. enthusiasm and courage
  2. a face wreathed in smiles
  3. a radiant countenance
  4. to see with their own eyes and not through the eyes of others
  5. the ability to carry a task once begun, through to its end.   


Saturday, 4 May 2019

Undone, Unspoken and often Untrue



What is it about short-term highs that make us forget longer-term goals? Exactly the same principle applies to short-term lows. How many a young man has chosen death because the love of his life dumped him? With the benefit of hindsight, he might have been able to see that this wonderful love-filled intoxicating relationship could with time gradually morph into a loveless tryst.  That everything that once drew him to her could become, with decades, the most annoying habits in the universe. With the benefit of that hindsight, he would choose life, not death.

There is a line in the book ‘The Heart is a Lonely Hunter’ where one married character comes home to bed while his spouse heads out to work. By this stage he hates her so much he carefully reverses the sheets on their shared bed so that his skin does not touch fabric hers might have besmirched. There is something about that gesture that denotes hatred much deeper than even a verbal or physical attack. In the midst of fresh love, it is impossible for that suicidal young man to contemplate this other reality or even its very possibility.

But can I say to all the young, bereft and heartbroken at lost love that the heart is by nature a muscle. It, like all muscles, requires exercising to strengthen. Perhaps your first love was a family pet. Your heart learned to attach itself to another entity and your ability to love grew. Your friends during childhood provided bonds that illustrated what could be gained in all relationships within the family and without. And so the habits of love were nurtured and friends perhaps helped to reinforce the joy of closeness and companionship with all its ups and downs.  Losses were encountered, pets died, friends left, even family loyalties during the tempestuous adolescent years can be strained. Love and pain can ever seem to be opposite sides of the same coin!

Your ability to feel pain is almost proportional to how deeply you loved.  All of this is a journey of learning. Along the way, however, fiction has fabricated a great lie. That there is only one soulmate for you in this world. You have got but one chance and if you lose that precious one, life has lost any purpose it might have had.  This is just not so. There are definitely more fish in the sea. Some depressingly worse than the one you have just lost but many are infinitely better than you can possibly imagine right now.

There is an expression in Ireland that comes from the old hiring fairs where in those days the unemployed turned up with their tools of trade in hand waiting to be picked by an employer. As the day wore on many an eager worker’s head would sink in despair as those around him were chosen but not he.  He would often hear, from a friend, the encouraging cry of,

“Look up, look up, there is money paid for you yet!”

Meaning someone would yet make an offer and save the day. How does one find the words to convey how precious life is? To those who have decided to throw it away. How full of possibilities life is, even when flooded by pain. The young especially feel the immediacy of their own despair. They have not the same ability to think long term. Their own emotional misery blocks the sight of any positive outcome in the future. Too often are young men left with no one to excise this pain. They cannot like many girls run crying to good friends and share their loss. Discuss the hurtful details and achieve a kind of catharsis with time.  Instead, distress can slide into despair. From there it is a small slippery slope to total defeat and failure. Life becomes a game totally lost. Pointless and dreary, a mockery not worth pursuing.

Well, it isn't and you are worth so much more than this minute. Whatever has happened, whatever you have done, whatever has been done to you, you are much more than that. The pain is real, the loss is immense but you are more than even this. Don't pretend you are not unhappy but recognise you are much more than your state of mind at this moment, good or bad. It hurts to love but it's still important to love despite the pain. And if no one loves you this moment and I mean no one, then test the power of love and love anyway.

This great fiction of love and death, like Romeo and Juliet or Anthony and Cleopatra, all urge young despairing lovers to throw away the most precious gift of all - their lives. Life and love is worth a great deal. It shapes our lives for good or bad but like despair, the long dark night will yield to the dawn. Never let these lies about love untie your reason from you.

There are many journeys ahead. Rough storms will come and you may well in the future feel even greater fear, loneliness and despair than you can possibly imagine right now. But you will find days kissed by sunshine and quiet moments of love that will make all of what has been done to you and taken from you seem just a difficult path that helped you find this pristine joy. 

“Look up look up there is money bid for you yet!”