We seemed to meet only at funerals in recent years. What a contrast to the joyous childhood gatherings in Dungiven, Newcastle and Bundoran. I remember sitting opposite you and your younger brother, all of us stiff with unfamiliarity because we met so infrequently. Yet within half an hour we would get over the awkwardness and simply enjoy each other's company. Every long gap between our meetings meant that same period of sizing one another up had to be repeated—especially during adolescence, when embarrassment and hormones build such difficult hedges between people. But the warmth of you and your brother always worked its magic, and before long we were kith and kin again, laughing together and relishing each other's company.
Then I moved away, and you moved first to the Scottish islands and later abroad. I recently found some of your letters from Malawi where, true to yourself, you were quietly doing good, as always.
The years passed, and we met mostly at funerals. I always chose to sit beside you because your heart was always open and unguarded, never shielded or veiled. How many times I saw a sheen of tears in your eyes as you spoke so honestly, laying your heart bare. Thank you for all those heart-to-heart conversations. I shall treasure them always.
At my mum's funeral this February, you were there in the undertaker's parlour and joined the family in our personal farewell to her. I asked you to say a few words, and you recited a beautiful psalm from memory, every sentence filled with heartfelt emotion. Thank you for the tenderness of that moment.
I cannot help but resent the years we might have shared ahead but now never will. Yet no one could have loved more generously than you loved all around you. For that, I can only be grateful.
During our last meetings, you seemed almost radiant, as though you had one foot in this world and one in the next—full of love, gentleness and spirit. These days your face often comes to my mind, and whenever it does it is filled with the same kindness and compassion I always saw in you.
People like you are a privilege to know. I am profoundly grateful that you have been, and always will be, such a special part of our family.
Much love
