Reflections on Character fuelled by my P3 art piece

 My Mum is a custodian of epic proportions.  Things from decades even 50 years ago, of worth, are carefully stored.  In her garage, there are even the school exercise books of my children with their early writing, poetry and stories.  My grandfather’s old medals, certificates, and awards for shooting etc are all on shelves safe and sound.  My father’s letters of reference as a young teacher, his qualifications and his many letters are wrapped up with care.   The very first letter he sent to my mum over 70 years ago can still be retrieved and read.  The pages worn thin, with lines from folding and unfolding, show my father’s handwriting and thoughts.  On the wall opposite me is an oil painting by my grandmother which is around a hundred years old.  I’ve known this about my mum for years that she takes care of things and people with tenderness.   In her attic, above the garage, there is even a huge bag of my artwork from school.  It includes work from my primary school years P3 and P4.  Today, for the first time in almost 60 years I got a ladder and braved the spiders and their webs, to get the bag down.

As I took out one of my earliest pieces (see above) from P3 in primary school the art took me back.  Made of material stuck on a sort of canvas, I can actually remember making it.  It is indelibly branded in my memory. I did it in the room used for sewing and knitting.  That must sound odd to a modern audience but there was a time when very young primary students would spend hours mastering all kinds of stitches (both in sewing and knitting).  As our artwork required material we were making our creations in this room.  

The teacher was the wife of the headmaster a man who had suffered from polio as a child and limped badly.  His father had been a captain of a tea clipper (merchant sailing vessel of the 1860s) which shows how old I am! Anyway, Mrs Philips, his wife, mostly taught P1s those innocents to whom school must have seemed a bit of a shock.  In Northern Ireland you start school aged only 4 and if you happen to have a birthday in July you would be a 3-year-old who had just had turned 4 a matter of weeks previously. 

Mrs Philips was terrifying indeed.  She seemed permanently furious with all children.  I am not sure if she was born like that or had morphed into this type of enraged teacher with age but the end result was awful.  This particular picture, of mine I remember so well because while I made it one of her P1s was locked in the sewing box room adjacent to the class and roared and wept the entire period.  Someone whispered that he had wet himself with fear and as punishment had been locked in the storage cupboard.  The sound of his howls and his suffering was heart-breaking and being young myself the horror of it went deep.  Sometime during that endless class, I promised myself I would never become immune to the suffering of others.  As I stuck material with a shaking hand onto my board I pledged that if there was any other choice as an adult I would choose not to inflict pain such as this.  

In later years I could rationalize and tell myself that perhaps Mrs Philips had not always been like this.  Maybe, she had been a good mother and treated her own children well.  Indeed, it was possible she had taught primary school for years and did a tremendous job and this present version of herself was not characteristic of the real person she had been for most of her adult life.  I began to think of people like a graphic line with goodness on the y-axis and time on the x-axis, sometimes down and sometimes up.  Perhaps, Mrs Philips was in the abusive phase only at this point in her life?

Then, at university, I suddenly thought that a simple line is not adequate to reflect a person. Perhaps instead we should use an extra dimension, making an area.  What if a person’s character is proportional to the area under the line.  That would be much harder to determine but be more accurate because if you stayed loving for 40 of your 60 years then you would have a larger area under the curve.  It makes sense, doesn’t it?  If you had been a vicious person for 60 years you could end up with an area of roughly 120 but a loving person for that length of time would have a tremendous score of 600!  But, what if you are a hurtful teacher but a loving mother? 

Obviously, we need another dimension.  What if we added a three-dimensional approach to our diagram? This could represent all the other aspects of our lives, how we treat our parents, grandparents, neighbours, our dog etc.  Instead of an area, we would be looking at a volume where that line is rotated through 360 degrees in space. Here it is shown for a simple line rather than our jagged line but it gives the principle.  Our character is now represented not by a line or an area but by solid volume.

But though this might reflect much more about a person’s character it still fails to take into account all the interactions that happen to each of us as we pass through life.  You can meet an amazing person who inspires you to be better than you ever were before.  So perhaps 3-dimensional shapes that interact with others to substantially change would be closer to reality. Not a totally solid volume but a more malleable shape. 

Then, we have had occasions when religions have come along and changed not only individuals but whole civilizations.  It often seems that at the start of a religion dramatic positive changes happen to a whole populations' spirituality and then with time corruption can set in. Meaningless rituals and corrupt clergy can play too big a role.  Perhaps, then the character can be represented as malleable solids/volumes interacting with each other in a liquid (representing for example religion).  When religion is a dense, deep, inspirational contribution to life the molded volumes/solids all float higher on top.  When, religion becomes corrupt, materialistic, divisive, and fanatical the liquid becomes less dense and lighter without meaning or sense at which point the shapes sink into its depths far from the surface above.

Knowledge is praiseworthy when it is coupled with ethical conduct and virtuous character ...

Bahá'í writings

Burning Shoes and Stuff

There was a young bored sports teacher covering a class for a colleague in Rhodes, Greece.  He noticed some loose threads on his trainers while he sat cross-legged.  He tried pulling them loose but they were made of tough nylon reluctant to be parted from his shoe.  Inspired he pulled out his cigarette lighter and burned it off in a flash.  Turning his attention to his other trainer he repeated his earlier success.  Unfortunately, in his eagerness to complete the task he managed to set fire to the material and the shoe began to burn.  He used the class register to beat the flames out while my son sat mesmerised by this unexpected entertainment in his classroom.

We had a chemistry teacher we nicknamed ‘Sexy Sam’.  In the sad cruel ways of teenagers he was as far from sexy as we could imagine.  The ironic title stuck and spread.  The class tell tale after some months squealed to the teacher his new name.  For weeks after we endured the nauseating spectacle of a preening ‘Sexy Sam’ convinced he was the object of longing to the upper sixth.  He made renewed efforts to live up to his heady title and began wearing lurid silk shirts and skintight trousers.  He was renamed ‘Seedy Sam’ and held this title for ten years.  Teenagers hold and perpetuate grudges big time!

The Lovely Mr Nikos

I remember calling at my son’s primary class in Greece and his teacher Mr Nikos seemed unusually agitated.  This was not like him at all.  He was the calmest, nicest Greek I had ever encountered.  His good humour and determined kindness had helped my volatile youngest son Daniel in his first year at Greek primary school.  Not speaking any Greek had been one disadvantage but such was Daniel’s bad temper he even made the boisterous and aggressive Greeks around him seem positively as mild as milk.  You got used to it in our household and sort of coped.  Like the time my uncle had won at monopoly and Daniel had immediately over turned the board and the table, storming out of the room.  In the awkward silence that followed my uncle in dry tones muttered, “Sure, if I knew it meant that much to him, I’d have let him win!”

Taking Daniel to learn team sports had proved equally disastrous.  When other players took the ball, pushed against him, he became righteously indignant and marched of the pitch, stiff necked in rage.  When really angry at home, he would walk onto our balcony and announce his intention to throw himself off.  His other brothers would chorus at such times, “Just do it!”

When a substitute teacher had taken over from the delightfully calm Mr Nikos there had been trouble.  A boy had got up and slapped Daniel on the back of the neck in class.  As Daniel got up to respond, the young teacher had told him to sit down.  Daniel told her what had happened but she informed him she had not seen the slap and he should sit down immediately.  Daniel responded in usual form by telling her she must be blind.  A shouting match ensued with escalating volume on both sides.  Neither would back down and finally the young teacher ran out of the class to seek help.  Daniel by now, was firmly in his, “Kill me if you like, I’m not backing down mode.”  The teacher returned out of breath with Mr Nikos in tow.  The wise Mr Nikos took Daniel outside into the corridor and closed the classroom door.  Having got an irate Daniel on his own, Mr Nikos knelt down in front of him and said in a warm and understanding tone.

“Daniel, I know you are a good boy”

This breeched Daniel’s enraged defences and he immediately burst into heartfelt sobs of apology – what a clever teacher.

So to find the calm, usually unruffled Mr Nikos enraged was a worrying development.  To add to the disquiet every single child in the room was sobbing.  Some with their heads on the table, others held shaking desks with shoulders heaving and tiny girls wailed their distress.  I walked my son home bewildered with the situation.  As we headed along the street Daniel explained that at lunch time a group of children from his class had surrounded a six year old mentally disabled Albanian child in the playground and threw stones at her and shouted abuse.  She had become distraught and Mr Nikos had heard about the event from other teachers as his class filed in for their last lesson of the day.  “What did he say?”  I asked.  Daniel said that Mr Nikos had told them a story about a tiny girl, with many problems, from a foreign country coming to a new school and feeling very alone and afraid.  Then, how she encountered a crowd of bullies who tormented her and even threw stones and abused her.  Imagine, if she was your little sister, he told them sadly and softly.  If your little sister was alone in our playground and it happened to her, how would you feel?  On and on he’d gone for the full 45 minutes until every child howled their hearts out at the injustice and unfairness of it all. – what a teacher!  He’d taught them all a valuable lesson that day.

When we were leaving Rhodes I’d wanted to thank Mr Nikos for all his kindness and wisdom.  So in my crude Greek, I told him how lovely he was, how really, really lovely.  Not knowing much Greek, I tend to re-use the same words.  Daniel squirmed in embarrassment beside me as I stressed again and again how lovely I thought Mr Nikos was.  Feeling that I had at least managed to do the right thing and conveyed my appreciation to a good teacher we headed home.  Daniel then pointed out that my Greek “lovely” actually meant “handsome” or “good looking” and I’d been wittering on about how attractive he was.  How very, very attractive, really good looking in fact.  As my cheeks glowed red in embarrassment, Mr Nikos’ surprised but usual understanding face burned in to my memory banks.

Did you survive school unscarred?

From an old fax sent to home from Rhodes, Greece.  Apologies to any mistakes in my grammar – how I ended up teaching English with my spelling I never really understood.


Only lost my temper once today, while teaching.  One boy could not understand the difference between gradable and ungradable adjectives.  I explained quite clearly, I thought, “If I say you are a very stupid boy, or not very handsome, or a little foolish, these are all gradable.  But, if I call your English incomprehensible, unspeakable, ghastly there is no need to grade these words so they are ungradable.”  It was a lovely opportunity to insult him.  What a dastardly teacher I am.  Speaking of teachers, Daniel had a run in with his teacher in primary school here in Greece.  She called me in to see her as Daniel had snatched his book back from her last week.  In punishment she had decided to ignore him completely in the class for three days, even when he put his hand up.  Now, she wanted to talk to me because Daniel did not seem at all bothered about being ignored.  He hadn’t even told me!  Anyway, she said she’d been very upset all weekend and wanted Daniel to apologise.  I spoke to him and he was devastated he’d hurt her feelings and cried in his bedroom.  He apologised and she kissed him.  Imagine a teacher not speaking, sulking for three days.  It is almost as bad as using the English language to insult annoying students.   My question is how do any of us survive school unscarred?