We had just bought our first house. It was a small gate lodge with a huge garden. It even had its own little forest in the corner. The kids loved it. This move to the countryside provided the three boys (all under 10) with the freedom to play outside. The contrast between our previous urban existence on a rough estate to this rose garden encircled cottage could not be greater.
We enthusiastically carted boxes of our belongings from the hired transport van to our new home. So involved were we with moving we forgot to prepare food. Our younger son, Daniel decided he was hungry and went off to explore our new neighbourhood. He wandered off to a row of pensioner's houses on a lane opposite. A friendly pensioner spotted Daniel and struck up a conversation with our chatty three-year-old who told him how very hungry he was. Andrew welcomed Daniel into his home and introduced him to his wife Vera, a South African. A lovely elderly couple who had spent their lives up to their 40s taking care of their ill parents. It was only after the death of their respective parents that the pair met at the wedding of a relative of Andrew's. They married and had one son. Andrew worked in the nearby cement quarry for the whole of his life. In their cosy living room Daniel was fed and given a drink and even a bar of chocolate. At their door, as he left, the canny Daniel, informed them that he had two brothers as hungry as he was! The generous pensioners filled a plastic bag with provisions for his brothers. Daniel returned to our house like a triumphant hunter gatherer. We were shocked by his audacity and yet impressed with his initiative. When we went to thank these pensioners we found two gems. Both were as kind as they were wise. Andrew had built a huge conservatory, all home-made, with even an oil heater to heat it. Entering that quiet conservatory we would often find Vera working away at a massive jigsaw puzzle on a specially designed table while Andrew read his newspaper. How many times we’d enter this serene place and be plied with huge quantities of tea and biscuits.
They grew amazing tomatoes and supplied us with jars of their famous chilli and tomato chutney. Andrew’s kindness was constant and in the years ahead brought only joy to all our lives. Andrew taught Daniel how to ride his first bike. They felt like a real family. I remember trying to move our caravan from the garden. It seemed an impossible task until Andrew flagged down a passing tractor driver who had the caravan hauled out in a matter of minutes. It was at that moment I realised what being part of a community meant. Andrew had been brought up in this part of the world. Gone to school here, worked a lifetime in this rural setting. When he flagged down a passing driver they were obviously going to help. He was well known in the neighbourhood and everyone seemed to know him and like him. Daniel had chosen well!
Years later we moved abroad but on visits to Northern Ireland, Andrew and Vera were a joy to catch up with. Illness plagued Andrew. This huge man with hands like shovels had operation after operation. The cement dust from the years of quarry work troubled his lungs. On subsequent visits we could see his decline. Slow but remorseless. He was ever loved and his only son worked hard to make the house suitable for his now disabled father. Andrew was ill but surrounded by his extended family including happy young grandchildren. It was a good 15 years later from that first visit of Daniel to the couple that we got news that Andrew was hospitalised and seriously ill. Daniel sat beside Andrew’s bed during a visit as he wavered in and out of consciousness. Daniel whispered “Andrew is the first friend I ever made in my life”. It was hard to lose this good friend.
We never know the effect our lives have on others. But this couple graced their neighbourhood with their good natures. For my three sons Andrew raised the standard of what being ‘a good man’ really meant. Showed true nobility can be demonstrated in times of laughter and in times of pain and illness. Just by their existence this couple made this world a better place. They engender hope in all of us that good people transform not just themselves but the wider community too. They touch lives and sprinkle the gold dust of their kindness on all those they meet. When I see kindness in Daniel I am reminded of Andrew and his bag of goodies on that first visit.
