Tips on winning, from 3000 years of ancient wisdom

There are games that one plays and as you play you get better. 

The more difficult the opponent the more you progress. 

A skilled player will tax you, frustrate you and surprise you. Later you will lick your wounded pride. 

Afterwards, you gain from reflections on the lessons only an expert can painfully give you. Exposure to excellence does many things. 

On the one hand, it raises the bar of what is possible to heights you never knew existed. 

On the other, you learn humility and the grace to lose well. 

Otherwise, you may become a petty loser who blames everything and everyone for the gross injustice of not winning. 

Or perhaps you settle for only ever playing those of less ability than yourself. 

You become a perverted winner by fixing the game by default. 

In doing so you miss out on the real lesson to be learned. 

You will boast and bluster your victories to all who have the patience to listen. 

But all the while a tiny inner voice will nurture self-doubt. 

Losing is such a necessary part of life. 

It shows you there is much to do. 

To change, adapt, learn from others before the big game is up. 

You have to play this game of life. Win or lose it will take place. 

Your only choice is to learn from each loss or settle for pretending to be the winner you are not.

Quotes from winners from over 2000 years ago

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of Rome. Lived from 121-180 AD.

“Happiness and freedom begin with one principle. Some things are within your control and some are not.”

 Epictetus – Stoic philosopher. Lived from 55-155 AD.

“Difficulties strengthen the mind as labour does the body.”

Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher. Lived from 4BC-66AD.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.”

Confucius, Chinese teacher and philosopher. Lived 551-479 BC.

“Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.”

Heraclitus of Ephesus, Greek philosopher. Lived 535-475 BC.

“Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others."

Plato, Greek philosopher and mathematician. Lived approximately 428-347 BC.

“Be still my heart; thou hast known worse than this.”

Homer, Greek author of the Illiad and the Odyssey. Dates of birth and death are unknown. Lived somewhere in the range of 1102-850 BC.

PS the last one is one of my favourites!

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Finding yourself among the lemmings

Am listening to Guardians of Galaxy sound track.  Don’t know why I like it so much.  There is a lightness about the songs that lifts my heart.  Years ago we all made cassettes of our favourite music and surrounded ourselves with that daydreaming space that they brought.  Then life becomes more serious and we get older and somehow listening to music became something that you do when you put the radio on, or overhear in the background on films.  Incidental and by accident as if an hour of listening to exactly what you wanted was an indulgence too far.  

I also remember playing non stop an American self help tape about making goals and achieving them.  Very assertive and formulaic.  In sure tones you were told that everything in life was possible you just had to have a clear vision of what you wanted, plan the steps to get there and have a clear finishing date for completion.  Reflection was a tool to be used to adjust to set backs and accelerate achievements.  People could and would he pointed out get in your way.  You had to build up momentum to weather such blocks.  Like a sailboat you needed movement to catch the wind and avoid becoming be stilled.  Keeping moving also did not let people cling to you and slow your progress.  Having go getters around you helped your goal attainment, he said.  Learn from the winners, he repeated twice in ringing tones.

What a load of shit!  My conclusion is this guy got things all wrong.  Achieving goals can be the biggest waste of a life.  It can blind you to the only really important thing in your life.  It can mean sacrificing the only  people that matter for some crap you only think you need.  The reason being rich is such a burden is the time you end up spending with other selfish rich assholes.  They can effectively steal from you the precious time that life has given you.  Whether that is time with your kids, your parents, your community or your partner there is simply nothing that compensates for that loss.  Don’t kid yourself that in some mystic future you will be thanked for all the hard work you put in, the houses that you bought, the money that you acquired.  All of it is actually worth less than the black dot in the eye of an ant.  Finding that out can be traumatic.  Especially, when it has been the compass of one’s life.  Instead of looking around you at those on a similar path take a step back and examine the quality of your life and the people in it.  We can discover that we are following ‘lemming like’ a lifestyle that does not make us happy but one we perversely cling to because everyone else is running alongside us doing the same.

There is a certain comfort in knowing we are following a familiar and crowded path.  But ultimately there is a part of you that has a unique sound track that will make you happy in a way no other can.     Find it fast, step back and look around at all the people you see around you daily on streets, at work, shopping.  Recognise the high percentage of them that are truly miserable and make another choice.  Dig up your favourite song tracks and make your soundtrack, a good hour at least, and then just listen.  Listen to where your thoughts go, what reflections bubble up, good or bad.  Allow daydreaming, watching sunsets, admiring nature and even silences into your life.  In the stillness of your own personal place find you.  Remember what makes you tick and smile.  Allow memories to be triggered rather than appetites fed.  Stop coping with what life throws, with the challenges of others and find and claim space for you.  You are so worth it.

PS It is surprising to find that the lemmings throwing themselves off cliffs is rather an urban myth.  Apparently, a 1958 documentary called Wild wilderness by Disney won awards and acclaim showed lemmings diving off cliffs.  It turns out that there is no proof that an assemblage of wild lemmings would actually carry out such mass suicide.  The film makers chased the animals off the cliff to good effect! It did win them an Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature.  You can watch the original above.