Looking within, facing the past, finding you

Many people are in an angry, isolated and misunderstood state. Simple things that could have been resolved in a chat across a garden fence in five minutes have instead festered and grown. Even within family homes self-absorbed modes of being have stifled intergenerational exchanges. Instead of unity each retreats. Misunderstandings abound.  Disappointment is felt by many players and children lose out big time. Instead of daily conversations across a shared meal, something even our ancestors enjoyed over an open fire, we hardly touch base. The love that can be there goes unexpressed, unspoken, taken for granted and exhausts existing bank balances of shared experiences and love. No wonder disappointment reigns.  

If we’re honest our own disappointment lies closer to home. We are not what we thought we could or would be. This present shadowy creature is not a reflection of our inner reality. We sense that at a fundamental level. But veils have come between us and our own hearts. No wonder those around seem inscrutable and bewildering. We are not even sure how we ended up here. There is a vague memory of another desired path. It has been so long since we glimpsed it we’ve accepted the present landscape as our reality.

Never has time been more precious or more abused. Take a moment to look around at the faces. Sit in a cafe, train station or street centre and watch the faces. Be heartbroken at the misery written plain in too many. See others. Look at their expressions and feel your own heart contract in sympathy. Know too, that this face, that you see, is their public one. It is the shell that they adopt when exposed to the general population. Then, just imagine if you could see them at home in their own little box able to relax and really let the defences down.  Some don't even have this luxury. Their private homes are even worse plays that call on acting skills to see them through the long hours. They must perform charades, exhausted by the effort that entails. Souls lacerated, they self harm to excise the pain. Whether that harm is with a razor, drug, drink, overeating, under eating, gambling etc it matters not. These symptoms of dreadful wrongs haunt the spaces of our society.

At a time when happiness is sought by so many why has misery become ever more abundant?  These are questions that need asked. We have to remove the barriers within us. Allow the quiet honest reflection that enables you to question your own spirit and really listen to what it says. It may surprise you. Just allow silence into your life. 

Turn off all the news, entertainment, gossip, never ending tasks and, as you would with a dear dear friend who you've not seen for decades, ask the real questions that matter. Allow time for the answers to bubble up from deep within. A lot of hurt, disappointment will surface too but be patient. Deep within, you have something worth waiting for. Don't be distracted by the flak. Hold fast, it is worth it. When there is love, there is always enough time. Suddenly, there will be a flash of you. Crystal clear glimpses of the old you that is still in there. At first it may appear like shards of a broken mirror, the pieces of an old image. Reclaim yourself, you are worth the effort.

You are worthy of love and respect. You cannot feel it for others if you don't claim it for yourself. Allow the the real you step forward and recognise the voice that has been silent too long. You will get distracted and disappointed by the inactivity and lack of results. Hurt by bad memories you’ve tucked deep away. Swamped by feelings of fragility that emerges. Being sensitised is a hurtful thing! See past that, to the fluid nature within. You are all these feelings and experiences but you are even more.

Trust the voice within you, even if it just says “shut up”! Be patient, this is a dear friend who deserves your love. They have walked with you on epic journeys of heartbreak. Be still and respect the insights they offer. Know too that you will get better at mining these gems that lie inside. You are worth the effort so start digging for those jewels.

It is said our lives flash before us as we die.  Perhaps it is because in order to see, actually see the light you need to clear out the debris of life.  Why wait until the end, when this moment could be the  beginning of everything.

PS  If you don’t whether to trust the response that comes from within.  Know that there is a touchstone to measure the authenticity of real insights from vain imaginings. 

“And the honour and distinction of the individual consist in this, that he …should become a source of social good. Is any larger bounty conceivable than this, that an individual, looking within himself, should find … he has become the cause of peace and well-being, of happiness and advantage to his fellow men?”