I remember being on the beach in
Portrush with my three children when my youngest son, under two years old,
began eating great fists full of sand.
No remonstration on my part could persuade him to stop. At one point my mother suggested I was making
it worse by drawing attention to it and it would be better by far to ignore the
practice. I tried, and sat as if totally
unconcerned while he seemed to spend the entire afternoon enjoying the beach as
if it were fish and chips! Later, his
nappies were full of this disgusting grit filled paste, so I suspect most of
what he digested went straight through his system. Nowadays, the chances of animal poo/glass/syringes/heavy
metals/pollution in the sand is higher and I would have found it impossible to
ignore his determined efforts. At the
time, however, I remember it was the oddity of it that disturbed. Other people’s children paddled in the sea,
dug in the sand, made sandcastles and ran to and fro, while mine focused on
eating all the sand within reach. It was
like a judgement call, spot the disturbed child, the mother who obviously has
screwed up. Where had I gone wrong? How far back had I made fundamental mistakes
in my child’s upbringing that he had this emptiness needing to be filled with
the nearest dirt he could cram in?
Mothers are filled with such
thoughts of ill ease. There was a baby
clinic opposite that I attended with each new born. We would stand in rows handing over our
little ones to be inspected and weighed by trained personal. I remember with the first one, the woman weighed
him and told me he was not putting on enough weight. I cried all the way home mortified with my
failure and apologising to my starving baby.
A month later his weight had improved but his nappy was filled with a
liquid coffee-like poo that she told me meant he had diarrhoea and that this was very serious
indeed. More tears followed along with a
growing conviction that I was not a fit mother.
It took an experienced friend to point out that the clinic was used to
bottle fed babies whose quick weight gain and solid stools bore no similarity
to breast fed babies, such as mine, to calm me.
By the time it came to my third baby I could watch mothers retire in tears
from the row in front of me, while steeling myself not to be upset by what the
nurse would say to me! Then my turn came
and she put a measuring tape around his head and showed me on a graph just how
far outside normal his head size was.
There was a lot of discussion about brain development, concerns
expressed about what was going on inside his colossal head. I walked home sobbing in panic and fear as
usual, while my baby’s head seemed to inflate like a balloon before my very
eyes.
Which all goes to show that as
mothers we can feel we are on an impossible mission and are always ready to
believe the worst and then blame ourselves bitterly for it all. So if you happen to spot a baby stuffing handfuls
of sand/dirt into his mouth, please just smile and act as if it is totally
normal, you will sooth a troubled soul.
PS this June’s edition of
Scientific American (2012) “The Scoop on Eating Dirt” highlights the fact that
eating dirt, geophagia, is found in 200 species of animals including baboons,
gorillas and chimpanzees. Humans have
been doing it since Hippocrates in 460 BC and the Mesopotamians and ancient
Greeks used it to treat ailments, especially of the gut. Soil contains minerals such as calcium,
sodium and iron, an invaluable source especially in times of famine. Soil’s detoxifying properties are also noted
in this article and pregnant women who eat soil may be not only cleansing their
system of toxins but also boosting their immune system. Kaolin, a clay mineral, is used by the
pharmaceutical industry to treat nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea. It is found to bind to not only harmful
toxins but also pathogens. So I put
forward the hypothesis that my youngest son, he with the enormous brain, was
fully aware of the therapeutic benefits of soil/sand eating at the time of his
visit to the beach. As such, he was an
early genius, not demonstrating mental instability at all! Oh, the folly of motherhood! Is there no end?
PPS (mind you don’t go eating the
soil or sand around you as it is likely to also contain bacteria, viruses,
parasitic worms, lead and arsenic) – according to same article
Did you mean 'chances' instead of 'changes'? "Nowadays, the changes of animal poo..."
ReplyDeleteIf only the guilts of motherhood ended once they grew up...
Well spotted! I did mean chances not changes so I have changed it above. And I know what you mean about guilt as they grow. As if anyone could do a great job at motherhood, we all do our very best, that's as good as we could make it!
ReplyDeleteVery good!!
ReplyDelete