Unexpected sweetness

I sit in the glorious air-conditioning of the shopping mall here in Malta. It used to be that you had to buy a coffee to earn the right to sit down, but they have redesigned the place and provided plenty of free seating. It is a courtesy to the public that is greatly appreciated. Mind you, the refurbishment must have cost a pretty penny, and you get the impression that all the shops are trying to recoup the expense by doubling the price of their goods. They have 50% sales on, but to be fair, a shirt priced at €162 after being reduced from its original eye-watering price is hardly an irresistible bargain. However, I did see a man emerge from an Armani shop carrying almost ten shirts in his arms, so clearly the strategy works for some!

As I watch the people around me, most seem, like me, to be browsing, examining the merchandise with interest, then moving on without buying anything. The air-conditioning, however, works its magic, and almost everyone looks remarkably relaxed as they wander around.

It is a far cry from the experience at the airport on my last Ryanair flight from Belfast to Malta. It is amazing how long passengers have to wait before the departure gate finally appears on the overhead screens. Then, with barely five minutes to spare before boarding, the gate number flashes up. Everyone rushes to get where they need to be, and it seems particularly unfair on the older passengers among us, who suddenly find themselves in a stressful race down long corridors, burdened with heavy bags. Then they are made to stand in steep stairwells, knees aching and backs protesting, crushed together like tomatoes in a tube of paste before being squeezed onto packed shuttle buses. Finally, one boards the aircraft only to discover, with dismay, that a large drunken stag party is already on board, shouting insults and swearing loudly at one another.

The cabin crew urged everyone to take their seats for take-off, but there was already a queue of at least six young men waiting to use the toilet. As the queue grew to a dozen, a flight attendant repeatedly asked them to return to their seats. Eventually, the captain announced—quite reasonably—that he wished to depart and everyone had to sit down immediately. They obeyed reluctantly, but the man in the seat in front of me took it as a personal affront that others had managed to use the toilet while he had not. He loudly informed his two friends that he was bursting to go and that the whole situation was grossly unfair. Later he complained to a passing flight attendant that the crew had been "f***ing rude" to him. I really do feel sorry for those who have to deal with drunken passengers on flights. It cannot be an easy job.

When the plane landed in Malta, several passengers immediately leapt to their feet and began pulling suitcases from the overhead lockers while the aircraft was still taxiing. Once again, the captain had to order everyone back into their seats until the plane had come to a complete stop. One wonders what dealing with such behaviour, day after day, does to airline staff.

This week, however, I was pleasantly surprised by an altogether different experience. My teenage grandson came to visit us and accidentally left his phone on the aircraft after disembarking. Three days later I took him to the airport's Lost and Found office, and, to our delight, his phone had been handed in. When he switched it on, he discovered that someone had taken a photograph with it. There, smiling back from the screen, were two flight attendants in uniform, waving cheerfully and giving enthusiastic thumbs-up signs. They had obviously found the phone and decided to leave him a little surprise.

Such unexpected sweetness amidst the challenges of their working day. It never ceases to amaze me when I encounter good humour and kindness in people whose jobs expose them to so much impatience, abuse and discourtesy. I like to think of it as a quiet form of excellence—the conscious decision to remain gracious despite being surrounded by rudeness. Those two young women will probably never know how much their small act of kindness restored my faith in human nature.

... observe courtesy, for above all else it is the prince of virtues.

Baha’u’llah

The Lord's Prayer

 

What is prayer?

At the lowest level, prayer can be a mere shopping list of requests to God. A conversation with God dominated by desires for all the things we don’t have and yet desperately think we need. A bit like a child at the window of the toy shop; no longer aware of the huge collection of toys at home he can only stare in dire longing for those toys he does not have.  

When work challenges, testing relationships, or daily difficulties arise our shopping list becomes pruned.  It becomes focused on these priorities of life without which we feel our happiness is threatened.

When disaster strikes, loss of health, or loved ones, our agony makes our prayers into cries from the heart to God. Urgent calls for aid against impossible odds. When we can find no way forward or no hope, then our prayer becomes a desperate plea for assistance.

Of course, it can be hard to know to whom we pray when our understanding of God is so very limited.  Sometimes we have only vague thoughts of one greater than anything that we can mentally encompass.  That is why using prayers from those who have gained true closeness to God or His chosen Ones can be so helpful. Not only do their words and aspirations tend to remind us of what is worth asking for but they also have a greater understanding of God.

For example, the Lord’s prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; 

begins by reminding us that God resides in the spiritual world, heaven, that He is our father and that we should revere His name.

thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 

This is followed by the promise that His kingdom will be established on earth in the same way it is in the spiritual realms.  The words indicate that this present civilisation will become more divine in nature. Humanity will acquire spiritual qualities and virtues and civilisation will be transformed from this present turbulent adolescent stage into a more spiritually enlightened state.

After reminding us of who we are talking to, reassuring us of the future direction or vision of mankind there follows three pleas. 

Give us this day our daily bread; 

The first is that we be provided with the basic material necessities of life to survive.

and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; 

The second asks God to pardon our sins or transgressions. Those deeds, words, and thoughts which deprive us of our spiritual progress.  Interestingly, the prayer links our forgiveness from God with the degree to which we forgive those who have done us wrong or sinned against us.

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 

The third plea, following on from repenting from all that we have done wrong in the past and present, asks for protection from future failings, sins, or transgressions.  It ends with a cry that we will be freed from evil and all that takes us further from God’s will.

Amen.

So many spiritual writings and devotionals end with Amen, like the Lord’s Prayer, so it is worth remembering its meaning.  

The basic meaning of the Semitic root from which it is derived is “firm,” “fixed,” or “sure,” and the related Hebrew verb also means “to be reliable” and “to be trusted.” The Greek Old Testament usually translates amen as “so be it”; in the English Bible it has frequently been rendered as “verily,” or “truly.”

Prayer, we learn is both an inner reflection; to be grateful for the blessings each day brings, awareness of what wrongs we have committed, how important it is to forgive others and brings to mind a concern for our future actions and failings, as well as an external call; a recognition of the station of the Divine, obedience to His Will and recognition that obedience to God’s will befits us all both in this world and the next.  It reminds us of a higher standard to which we are all called to attain and its vision of the future helps fuel our endeavours to build a better world.

Fighting development tooth and nail

Huge apartment blocks spring up like Japanese knotweed all over the world.  Shopping malls have become entrenched in cities like pernicious weeds.  They have even developed their own subcultures.  Studies show how young people claim such places as their own personal playgrounds.  We will gradually unearth how such shared spaces have changed city cultures for more than just the youth.  

Already, the elderly have migrated to such malls in search of warmth and company.  When you are truly alone even being in the vicinity of others becomes a vicarious pleasure.  You get to watch changing real life interactions instead of the TV.  In northern climes the cost of heating becomes too expensive for those on limited pensions.  Shopping malls become a cheaper alternative.  A place to stretch their legs protected from the elements.  In some cities these serve as social hubs.  Where you can check out the latest hospitalisation, death, opinion, experience and news.  In our cities the elderly, the disabled or ill can feel city streets are far too unpredictable.  Traffic, uneven pavements, gangs of youth can restrict their routines.  To have a place with some level of security can be a welcome blessing.  

Next time you are in a shopping centre have a good look around at the people who inhabit such places.  Some malls, target the vulnerable (not spenders) and have become proactive in driving what they see as ‘spongers’ out of their patch.  Security guards harass gangs of youth to move them on.  The elderly are more easily displaced by a lack of seating in such centres.  

Women with pre-school children linger near colourful displays and toyshops.  Their offspring are free to explore these shiny corridors unburdened with coats etc.  In amongst the motley throng are the real shoppers that the whole centre is designed for.  They emerge from doors laden down with bags advertising their purchases.  They don’t dawdle but walk purposefully from one hunting area to the next.  The big hunters know all of this is aimed at them.  They prowl their kingdom expecting bargains and good service.  Astute shopping assistants can spot the big cats with a glance. They know these watering holes have an attraction but must be careful in how they engage these lions.  Too much attention is seen as harassment, too little as bad service.  A good assistant should be able to read a client.  Is this a predator in good nick?  Ready to spend?  Or are they one of the subcultures killing time in the shopping paradise?  Judging this right will mean they adopt either a subservient attitude or a haughty dismissive turn of the head.  These places are not social centres after all.  They are designed to make money, that is their sole reason for being.  

If you have the time enter the nearest shopping mall to you.  Spend an hour but not one penny.  Observe the sub cultures that you find.  Actually, see those that share your space.  What is their age range?  Do they look happy and content?  Will you find that the majority are there, not out of choice but, as a refuge from something.  The young shop assistant opposite me has been manning her jewellery display for almost an hour.  No one has bought anything or even looked at her products.  She periodically combs out her long hair flicking is over her shoulder.  Then, she checks out her appearance in the mirror beside her cash register.  She fiddles with trays of rings.  Taking them out and putting them in again.  Occasionally, she presses buttons on her till to look busy.  Afterwards, she rearranges some necklaces as if they have been fingered out of position.  Now, she’s examining the jewellery as if she is a customer hoping to get someone to emulate her.  No joy, she’s reverted to combing her hair again and walking sideways in front of the mirror checking the waistline.  Tip toeing to see if her blouse is tucked in smoothly.  It’s disheartening to see the repetitive displacement activity in a human.  Mindlessly repeating useless activity because they have no other choice.  

Am I any different?  I walk along the front to a different café/venue each day and then write what comes to mind.  It’s being creative I tell myself but how much of it just marking time?  I may be on a longer more scenic circuit but is there any difference?  My activity is in many ways less worthy than hers.  She earns a wage, while I churn out my writing.  Everyone in this mall has his or her reasons for being here.  Security, warmth, company, work, shopping or people watching.  The escalators move in ceaseless circles moving us up and down.  The giant hamster wheels that transport us to shop entrances.  Wall to wall window displays all around, do our thinking for us.  The swish of notes and change out of cash registers mark the passing of our lives.  Busy, busy bees going nowhere together.

There are those who have fought all this development tooth and nail.  In fact in China they are called ‘Nail Houses’.  Refusing to sell up, they hang on long after the rest have cashed in.  They anchor themselves to the spot when there is no longer anything much left to protect.  The photos of their stubbornness are as brutal as any war.  One is not sure to either admire their steadfastness or bemoan their wasted endeavours.  I’ll let the photos do the talking.