Are we Human or are we Chancers?
In a world that seems to combine growing individual isolation with increasing international interdependence it is hard to determine the end result of these two seemingly opposite movements. Like two continental shelves they are moving remorselessly across our landscape and the stress and tension they engender have begun to wreak havoc in lives already shaken and uncertain. Just as continents in conflict meet and cause huge impassable mountain ranges, so too these recent developments have caused a growing chasm between those that have and those who have not.
When living in Greece, our Albanian neighbours lived just opposite with eight of them in one small room. They worked really hard and yet were strangely united. It seemed strange to us that they had so little and yet shared everything. Perhaps isolation comes from having too much. Instead of working together to make life easier we focus on protecting what we have from those who have not. I watched their dynamics from my balcony and wondered at our differences. The elderly patriarch had read well and was full of wisdom. Once writing with his finger on my kitchen table he drew a one and three noughts and said if you came from good parents it was like having a thousand. If you had a good partner you add three more noughts and it became a million. On he went with additions like a good job, good friends etc until he had a one with a huge row of zeros after it – a colossal sum. Then he stood back and said if you had poor health take away the one and wiped out that first figure with the back of his hand in dramatic fashion and showed what remained – nothing – just lots of zeros . We were mesmerised by his eloquence.
Coming from the UK we observed their lives with fascination. The eighteen year old had a colostomy bag and it seemed hard that someone should have to struggle with such a thing in such cramped circumstances. He had to be taken to hospital in Athens for an operation. Six relatives flew with him. Two came from abroad, one a medical consultant to accompany him. Suddenly, I saw that this eighteen year old had more support than most of us could dream of. People in our affluent culture die alone too often. What good is wealth if we live alone waiting for an exit to a world that does not care. So perhaps the networks that matter are personal links.
Just when I thought I had gained a new insight and respect for a culture three young Albanian men moved into the small shed in the garden of the flats. They were rough spoken and drank a lot; they seemed very different from our friendly neighbours. Once, when hanging out clothes I observed from the roof the three young men strolling around the yard below. The neighbour’s young toddler, no more than two was examining a small pot at the back door of the open doorway. One of the young men came across towards the toddler and looking around to see if anyone was watching leant over and spat directly on the child’s head. The three of them laughed at the great joke of it. I felt my stomach clench with horror. Is that the problem with networks it just takes a rogue element to bring the fragile community down to basics?
My best friend lived in a more affluent neighbourhood and the single Pilipino maid who worked for the couple opposite became pregnant. Rather than lose her job the maid promised to cope with having a baby alone and all the housework as normal. Reluctantly, her employers agreed to give her a chance. True to her word she worked as hard as ever and despite the growing bump managed to do all her tasks as usual. Then the baby was born and just when it seemed impossible to cope anymore an amazing routine was established. Every morning when her employers left to work, six Pilipino female friends would descend on the house. While one amused the baby, another cooked and the four others worked like an industrial cleaning unit racing through the tasks while chatting, smiling and laughing with the new mother. Then they all had tea together and left her with a spotless house, cooked food and an exhausted sleeping baby. The unity of these women defeated even the harshness of the circumstances and their network overcame all difficulties.
In a world with more networks than ever before why the increasing individual isolation? Why when we twitter, text, email, talk as never before are we feeling unheard? Why when there are groups political, cultural, artistic, scientific, social and extensive media to see to their needs do we feel more powerless and alone? For all the help lines, charities, social services and neighbourhood schemes we are at sea in unchartered waters. Feeling bereft of the community that once nurtured us at some fundamental level.
