Showing posts with label fame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fame. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

another Australian man wore daring shorts with a “wife beating vest”



There is a fantastic cathedral here in Valletta, Malta.  It’s called St John’s Cathedral and I queued to get in and view the magnificent interior.  While waiting I decided that the entrance fee might be worth paying and entered.  Only to be accosted by a large officious woman at the door who said I needed to cover up!  Bemused, I checked myself, I am not generally known for my daring outfits.  I wore a long skirt down to my ankles and a high necked top.  What could possibly be offensive?  Then, the lady pointed out that part of my shoulders were visible at the edge of my top.  I mean, if you looked up my sleeves you might get a glimpse of my upper arms, but really there was nothing obscene about it.  I could tell the people in the queue around me were bewildered too.  One of them wore a cut away sarong to the waist, but she was okay, another Australian man wore daring shorts with a “wife beating vest” as my eldest son likes to call them.  The lady in front of me had shoulders covered but her neckline descended to her belly button and almost all her breasts were on display.  However, they were all okay, it was I who caused offence for some reason and was duly draped in a huge orange piece of material to make me decent. 

The Australian giggled, as he said, “Sorry love, you looked like Mary Poppins to me even without the shroud.”  I sigh, such things seem to happen to me.  It was at this point dressed in a huge orange tent surrounded by half naked people, I realised I had forgotten my glasses.  Having paid my fee I was trapped in a stunning church with poor eyesight that only let me see what was less than a metre in front of me.    Not to be outdone I peered hopefully at each nave, every picture and all the ornaments.  In fact I am pretty sure, every tourist that day in Valletta has a picture of me in a vast orange tent in all their pictures of the cathedral.  They are all probably at home now in far off places showing relatives and friends their holiday snaps and saying, “yes, I have no idea what this idiot was doing, dressed in an orange tent who managed to get into all the shots.”  Well, the explanation is that in order to see I had to stand in front of everyone really close to the exhibits.  While peering at the aforesaid object people were clicking away in the background. 

The floor is covered in gravestones of the famous knights who died and their names are engraved along with the dates.  The more famous have paid for huge statues of themselves posing with angels and such like.  In fact the more I read and examined the place the less I felt like admiring things.  Is that how it is, you pay for your immortality, your place in Holy places?  To get remembered, you need only get something ornate and gold trimmed and stick it up somewhere?  That doesn’t seem right.  Mind you King Charles V who actually gave the knights Malta, as their centre was not quite right either.  Charles suffered from an enlarged lower jaw, a deformity that became considerably worse in later Habsburg generations, giving rise to the term Habsburg jaw. This deformity was caused by the family's long history of inbreeding, which was commonly practiced in royal families of that era to maintain dynastic control of territory. His bloodline would become so genetically flawed that they could not survive, those red necks from the film “Deliverance”, were obviously not the only ones to marry their kith and kin.  I even think can hear a banjo playing as I wander round the church and its opulent décor.  But, it was perhaps holding his own funeral that makes Charles stand out in my mind.  Yes, you heard me right.  Here is an account of that very occasion.



“The chapel was hung with black, and the blaze of hundreds of wax-lights was scarcely sufficient to dispel the darkness. The brethren in their conventual dress, and all the Emperor’s household clad in deep mourning, gathered round a huge catafalque, shrouded also in black, which had been raised in the centre of the chapel. The service for the burial of the dead was then performed; and, amidst the dismal wail of the monks, the prayers ascended for the departed spirit, that it might be received into the mansions of the blessed. The sorrowful attendants were melted to tears, as the image of their master’s death was presented to their minds—or they were touched, it may be, with compassion by this pitiable display of weakness. Charles, muffled in a dark mantle, and bearing a lighted candle in his hand, mingled with his household, the spectator of his own obsequies; and the doleful ceremony was concluded by his placing the taper in the hands of the priest, in sign of his surrendering up his soul to the Almighty.”

Yes, the rich and the royal are often, "gone in the head", as my nephew James would rightly say!  On that thought, I gave back my orange tent and left the cathedral pondering the dangers of riches, fame and glory.