There is no room for judgemental speeches when someone
commits suicide. The loss is too great
to address and it has been accurately referred to as “the scar that will not
heal”. Every person’s death diminishes
us and we need to use each as a spur to all of us to do more to help not as a
conversation piece.
Ten million people attempt suicide each year and one million
succeed. A disproportionate number are young people. These figures do not even come close to exposing the agony and
pain that hides behind those statistics.
The loss of a young life just beginning screams its
wrongness. Too often the necessary
investigations inflict more anguish on already lacerated hearts. Those who end their own lives do so not
because they choose to die but usually because living is no longer a viable
option. We cannot imagine what is going
on in the mind of a tormented soul but their anguish should call out to all of
us.
We need to ensure support, professional, competent and
timely is available for those who are at the very end of their tether. This lifeline should be strengthened if it
is the final barrier between a person and that deadly last step. It cannot be amateur, incompetent or ill informed. It needs to be constantly evaluated and
improved. While suicide preventative
resources are limited and often under developed there are well-established
suicide prevention programmes worldwide that have shown themselves effective in
reducing the number of suicides.
Prevention is always a challenge but by using resources available and
learning from good practice we can get better.
While attending a suicide prevention programme in Londonderry, N.
Ireland some years ago I was impressed that the speakers spoke with passion and
insight. They seemed to know what they
were talking about and conveyed compassion and guidance that made practical sense. It was only during the coffee break I
learned that all of the trainers had lost family members through suicide. Their experiences gave their words a depth
of understanding and poignancy that touched all exposed to it. They clearly got over the principle that
that “suicide is everyone’s business”.
Channels need to be opened to those in despair and each of us can play a
role.
Too many live among us, mortally injured, but having to hide
their weeping wounds. In addition to
their growing pain they muster up the charade that all is well. The reasons are manifold but one is the
knowledge that fellow humans thrive on gossip, backbiting and the tragedy of
others. Going over the bones of
carcasses, pulling apart the sinews to see wounds more clearly. Delighting to satisfy their morbid curiosity
and share with others new titbits found.
Our newspapers and neighbourhoods are full of such judgemental spouting. No wonder then, the disembowelled among us seek
no help but hug their intestines to their chest and hope no one senses their
despair and agony.
"regard backbiting as grievous error, and keep ..aloof from its dominion, inasmuch as backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul."
(Baha'i Writings)
