Newton's first
law of motion "the law of inertia".
There is a
natural tendency of objects/people to keep on doing what they're doing. All
objects/people resist changes to their state
Samuel was usually terrified of the slamming door. It signalled his brother was home and in a
foul temper. There was only twelve
months between the two but Jacob, the older, dominated by his aggressive
nature. When they were small, Samuel
had grown accustomed to the nips and smacks that rained down his from his
sibling. There seemed no reason for the
attacks but they were certainly triggered by his parent’s absence from the
room. Jacob’s courage grew with the years and Samuel felt a line being crossed
when, under the table or behind the sofa, he was attacked even when his parents
were in the room. His howls of anguish
would provoke sighs, as his parents would lift Samuel and sooth his
pinched/smacked skin by rubbing it gently and kissing it better. This did no good, as it was the injustice of
his elder brother’s abuse that scared and upset Samuel. He could cope with the attacks, unprovoked
as they were but it was his parents seeming ability to overlook his brother’s
guilt that rankled. His attempts to
fathom their responses had involved many stages. At first, when they were toddlers his parent’s had mouthed to
each other the same word in response to Jacob’s aggression. At primary school, Samuel had recognised the
word ‘jealous’. Every action of Jacob,
it appeared to him, was permitted because of his brother’s dark jealousy. In Samuel’s mind this word seemed to give
his brother a secret freedom to mistreat him.
Even worse it engendered towards Jacob, from his parents, an attitude of
loving appeasement no matter how dire the consequences for Samuel.
Try as he could Samuel never understood why Jacob was
allowed to hurt him so continually and with little no consequence for his
actions. It was at school he realized
other older children were much nicer than his brother. In the playground they were protective of
the smaller children and Samuel had actually cried when he realised that others
were not like his brother. It was only
then he grasped there was something wrong with Jacob. He hid the knowledge from everyone, even himself. Wanting to deny the inevitable conclusion
that Jacob was just bad. Over the years
Samuel developed coping strategies. He
learned that having other children around to play protected him from his
brother. Not screaming or showing pain
when attacked seemed to reduce Jacob’s satisfaction. Samuel dug deep into his reservoirs of patience and stamina to
cope. He grew astute at reading his
brother’s moods. He never relaxed in
his brother’s presence but he learned to pretend like his parents that Jacob
was normal.
As Samuel’s social skills grew it seemed Jacob
regressed. The older brother sulked,
shouted at his parents and had explosive temper tantrums. His parents had stopped mentioning jealousy
instead they spoke of ‘marriage
problems’ being the explanation. This
frightened Samuel more than his brother’s attacks.
Newton's second law of motion
Heavier objects/problems require more force to move the same distance as lighter objects/problems.
Having learned coping strategies to deal with his brother
it had never occurred to him that his parent’s marriage might be the next
victim of his brother’s actions.
Sensitive to the shifts in mood within the home he saw how his parents
rarely spoke to each other now. They
used to walk hand in hand on long walks but now they seemed to take turns with
the children. Operating as a tag team
to cope with all the difficulties. As
Samuel watched their growing coldness his fear grew.
Much of his childhood had passed with acceptance of his
lot but as things worsened at home Samuel felt something unravel inside
him. He disliked his brother. It seemed to have happened suddenly. He could even remember the moment there was
a sea change. He was walking with
together his father and Jacob along a towpath.
His father was distracted but forced himself to engage with his two
sons. Samuel hated it, sensed his
father ached to be elsewhere. He grew
quiet aware that even this his favourite walk would not heal the atmosphere. Samuel noticed that Jacob was throwing
stones into the canal, huge handfuls of stones raining down on the still
water. His actions were as usual
aggressive and frantic as if he might not be able to create enough
splashes. Samuel slide his hand into
his father’s quietly. His father said
nothing but squeezed his son’s hand in response. It felt good and Samuel remembered a thousand kindnesses from his
dad. All the hugs and bedtime stories,
games and long walks. All the
discussion, questions answered and the endless patience and love. He wanted to find the words to put all these
feelings into one expression but couldn’t.
He also wanted for the first time to tell him of all the bullying. How often Samuel had wept into his pillow at
the hopelessness of his situation. He
wanted to tell him so he could explain why it was so. Samuel needed to understand this one point more than
anything. Jacob was screaming as he
threw stones higher and further. Samuel
decided he had nothing to lose and told his father,
“You
know there is something wrong with Jacob, don’t you?”
His
father, to his horror, began to cry.
Huge fat tears streamed down his face and he had hugged Samuel to his
chest tightly. While in his ear he had
explained to Samuel,
“Your
Mum and I are not getting on. I don’t
want you to blame yourself or your brother about this. We both love you so much and always will!”
Samuel knew then that nothing he said would fix
this. He looked over his father’s
shoulder at Jacob who was now throwing stones at a family of ducks. His parents would never see what he
saw. They couldn’t because parents loved
too much. And in that second almost
before he knew he loved his brother, he stopped loving him. It was as if a shutter had come down in his
heart and it allowed his mind much more clarity. Without emotion he could take real action.
Newton's third law of motion
This means that for every force/effort there is a
reaction/resistance force that is equal in size, but opposite in direction.
The next day while out in the
garden Samuel drew close to Jacob. His
mother was in the kitchen, which looked out over the garden. Samuel got in between Jacob and the window
with his back to the house. Tapping his
brother on the shoulder Samuel waited until Jacob turned and then taking his
own hand smacked himself as hard as he could across the face. The blow was hard and he roared in genuine
pain. Within a second his mother was
cradling him, comforting him. Sam did
not accuse Jacob just hugged his mother sobbing. It helped considerably that Jacob went into a temper tantrum
claiming quite rightly that Samuel had hit himself. He was not believed and yet apart from comforting Samuel his
mother said nothing. It had ever been
so but Samuel felt the difference. He
was running this show and everything had changed. They just didn’t know it.
Later that evening he gave himself a hard pinch on the arm just below
his tee-shirt sleeve. The next day at
school it was vibrant and visible on his arm.
His teacher noticed it at once, as he had hoped, and asked him about
it. He had told her he had fallen. It was so obviously a pinch mark she’d not
believed him. He understood that adults
didn’t hear what you said they liked to work things out themselves. You could not tell it straight they wouldn’t
have believed it. His parent’s
continued as normal to comfort him and not confront Jacob. Samuel hadn’t expected them to behave
differently. His whole life had been
like this and yet it all felt different now.
Perversely, the only one to
notice the change was his brother, Jacob.
So eager was Samuel to trigger another blow from his brother he’d ceased
to be afraid. Jacob found it unnerving
and perversely tried to avoid his younger brother. Samuel had to plan harder.
In the bedroom he’d been beside his brother playing Lego. Talking to his brother and trying to engage
him in conversation. Jacob had been
sullen and withdrawn but Samuel had pretended to swallow a tiny brick and drawn
his brother closer. Reaching up to his
own face Samuel had scratched a long mark on this cheek close to his eye. As tiny bubbles of blood erupted along the
scratch mark, Jacob had gasped and drawn back disbelief apparent on his
normally sullen face. Samuel held his
hand to his face and was silent. Jacob
started to cry and that’s where his father found them. Samuel staunching the wound on his face
while Jacob cried beside him.
It was a defining moment for the family. The teacher had filed a report about the
marks on Samuel’s arm and now this very visible scratch so close to vulnerable
eyes made action imperative.
Counselling was arranged through the school and there, professionals
were quick to realise that although Samuel got on with other children his
brother did not. Very quickly, his
parents were informed that Jacob would be tested by a school psychologist. The first counsellor was useless; a young
woman straight out of training she urged the youngster to talk to her but did
nothing else. Fortunately, a
psychiatrist did a follow up visit with a battery of tests and quickly showed
that Jacob suffered from Klinefelter Syndrome and a lack of basic communication
skills. Once the issue had been
identified everyone seemed to unite to address things. The school rose to the challenge and more
importantly his parents found a new respect and tenderness for each other that
surprised them both. Samuel felt a load
lifted from his shoulders and during long Lego building sessions with his
brother felt differently towards him.
Not love, not yet but an odd growing protective feeling towards Jacob
that surprised and made their future seem much brighter.
