Stalked to death by LinkedIn - apologies everyone

I am on holiday in Northern Ireland visiting family/friends here.  It has been a lovely 6 weeks and I am about to fly back to Malta.  However, I must apologise for the harassment I inflicted on all my contacts via LinkedIn.  It was totally not what I wanted and I am so sorry for those annoying invites that regularly fly into your inbox. Let me give my side of the sad tale.

I am presently employed on a writing assignment which is for a course and part of it involves using LinkedIn professionally.  As a result I had to sign up and create an account to see how the whole thing worked and try it out for potential students on the course.  

I made my profile and quickly got some rubbish in to get started. Never expecting that LinkedIn would contact every single person in my contact list informing them of my 'new Job', silly titles etc.  But it did and has continued to do so with relentless efficiency almost every day.  I have been on a Google trawl to try and stop it, but it is as if the dam has been broken and no matter how many notifications I turn off, withdraw the darn thing has a mind of its own.  The only comforting thing is that the internet is filled with equally frustrated voices. Such as these

1. I have tried to help this issue by deleting my imported contacts and linked in is still inviting people to become my connection. 

This issue is a terrible way to get people in touch, as it turns out I am just annoying all of my professional contacts without my knowledge. 

and 

2. Same problem and I WISH I had an answer on how to stop this. It is SPAMMING. Here they penalize someone from trying to link to a stranger, but yet it's ok for LinkedIn to send out an invite to someone w/o your permission?

and yet another cry 

3. this is also happening to me. I have contacted LinkedIn three times and, although they have "acknowledged" receiving my e-mail and assured me they would contact me, they have not. I am now getting at least three people a day who have accepted my nonexistent invitation. I am EXTREMELY frustrated. I thought I would be choosing only those people I wanted a connection to!

I joined this as it was a "professional" networking opportunity that I thought could connect me with my peers and would be vastly different than Facebook. Yet here I am with similar issues in terms of privacy and control.

and even more intense

4. This is outrageous and I'm withdrawing my account. As the owner of a very large web site, I will recommend my members do the same.
This is shameful and desperate spamming.

Oh dear, never mind I hope you will all forgive this unwanted intrusion from me.  I would not have done it by choice.  At least I will be sure to include health warnings for students using this resource on the course!  While here I have met so many victims of LinkedIn and all are so annoyed.  Surely such practices eventually backfire on the perpetrators?  Perhaps it is a language thing?  For example Americans need to understand how the British use language is very different and this is a typical guidance.

What the Brits say: Quite good
What the British mean: A bit disappointing
What others understand: Quite good

What the Brits say: Very interesting
What the British mean: That's clearly nonsense
What others understand: They are impressed

What the Brits say: I only have a few minor comments
What the British mean: Please re-write completely
What others understand: He's found a few typos

I’ve added my own

When the Brits say: LinkedIn is prolific

What the British mean: LinkedIn is a bloody nuisance 

What LinkedIn understands: We really network well

I would love to hear from you on your thoughts!

PS I have no new job, no new title and have achieved next to nothing - rest assured you are now updated on my status