A piece from an old e mail, found on my hard drive.
Hope all goes well with you guys. I am recovering from yesterday and it all
seems quite dream like. Things in
Greece have a disorganized feel to them that adds to the nightmare quality of
some experiences.
I had heard Harry had
gone into hospital but I had celebrated his 69th birthday in his home only a few days earlier and he had looked fine with a good appetite and a
was a good colour and back on his feet able to get down the stairs. He still had the urine drainage bag attached
and I could tell he hated it but otherwise he seemed his normal cheerful
self. The bag had been empty in the
morning and that had caused them to go to hospital the day before last. The hospital did not seem to do much – how
chaotic and appalling their disorder appears when some one is in real
need.
He was ordering in a Greek sweet
that morning and then by the afternoon he was dead. In typical fashion they don’t have cold storage here on the
island and so burial is within 24 hours!
So yesterday afternoon we had the service in the German graveyard and
several of his friends and family were there.
It was Daniel’s first funeral and not an easy one.
The coffin was open and they had shoved two
huge pieces of cotton wool up his nose.
The bearers were four really rough characters in tee shirts and
underpants hanging out with ropes and surly countenances. They work for the graveyard. They lowered the coffin in opened as the
Greeks have an unusual practice of throwing earth into the open coffin (just a
few handfuls)! Then the lid is put
on. It all seemed so horrific and rough
and when the lid is on they immediately start shovelling earth in while
everyone looks on.
At one point, as the
four shady characters raced off with the coffin to the graveside my friend
Shirley urged me to run with her after them, saying we could not let him be alone
with strangers. I could see the four
were very perplexed that no one was throwing themselves into the hole and
fainting – a norm for Greek funerals.
But the ceremony, was dignified with the Lord’s prayer, Harry’s
favourite prayer in German, beautiful music and lots of flowers. At one point the someone started singing a song and everyone joined in and the atmosphere melted. I could not wish a speedier end for Harry
and despite the horrors of the funeral both Daniel and I were happy that he was
in a better place. As we drove home
Daniel and I kept holding hands and reassuring each other. Life seemed very tenuous all of a
sudden. Harry’s smiling face will be
missed and his good nature. It was the
first time I felt my son’s strength, his stoic nature and his robustness. How quickly they grow up and become bigger
than us in every way.
An
American Indian elder described his own inner struggles this way:
"Inside of me there two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The
other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When
asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "The one I
feed the most."
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