Alchemy of love

My son attended a parent-teacher meeting this week and the P1 teacher waxed lyrical about his youngest child. She pointed out that he was exceptionally loving and kind. Always full of joy and eager to volunteer in activities. The teacher said that a new Spanish student who spoke absolutely no English had joined their class and our grandson had appointed himself her guide and led her from one activity to another by hand. Floored by all this praise my son pushed the teacher to let him know what areas my grandson still needed to focus on and improve. Reluctantly, the teacher pointed out that he had not yet mastered the skill of holding a pencil! How sweet was that Scottish P1 teacher to focus on only the positives. A hug to all the hard-working teachers whose kindness and perceptions help rear noble souls.

My uncle in New Zealand is practically blind and every Friday his in-laws hold an evening meal where everyone starts the event by stating one thing they are particularly grateful for that week. All ages participate even the three-year year-old twins.  What a lovely way to end the week in such a positive tone. My uncle’s contribution was his gratitude for a young man who had spotted my uncle trying to navigate his way into a toilet cubicle in a busy restaurant. Realising he was finding it tricky the young guy helped him locate the door handle and even opened it. Then, when my uncle had finished, the same young man waited outside the cubicle and escorted him to the taps and then the dryer. My uncle said this unexpected kindness filled him with hope for this younger generation. A big thanks to the youth out there who have not forgotten to care for the vulnerable and provide a lesson to the rest of us.

Finally, I attended the funeral of a dear friend of mine from Omagh this year. She was one of those quiet folks whose presence was always strangely comforting. The funeral was high in the mountains in a forest 7 miles from the town. I had to trust the Sat Nav to find it along twisting forest roads. The venue was well hidden along a path in the woods. Despite this, I was shocked to find the room was absolutely packed with people. In fact, the staff kept having to add extra rows of chairs, one after another as more people flooded in. Just when they thought that that was it, another crowd arrived to pay their respects. So eventually wall-to-wall with others standing in the doorway and corridors they carried in the coffin and the entire room rose as one to their feet in silence as she was carried to the front of the room. Speaker after speaker spoke about her kindness and quietness. How acts of thoughtfulness were practised by her as a normal routine that had touched so many. We all became aware of just what a giant of love we had lost. The feeling of gratitude for a life well lived grew. 

Much thanks to all those quiet, selfless souls that operate beneath the radar but work their special alchemy of love in hearts across the world.

"Do not be content with showing friendship in words alone, let your heart burn with loving-kindness for all who may cross your path."

ʻAbdu'l-Bahá

Gertrude Remembered

I know it is sad to stand at a funeral and remember someone but in Gertrude’s case, she was really ready “to go to sleep and not wake up”, as she put it. She was indomitable and single-minded and not the confused elderly woman people often thought she was at first sight. I remember one ambulance man speaking over her head to me asking “Does she understand anything?” and Gertrude responding instantly in an annoyed, clear voice “I could buy and sell you!” She was over 104 and could remember sitting in the very first car in the town. There is a picture of her as a young girl in Portrush in the backseat of one of those early huge open-topped vehicles in the local chemist’s shop. Her father was chief fireman in Londonderry and she remembered the horse-drawn fire engines of those days. 

She had lived through both wars, was educated in Trinity College, Dublin and was fluent in both French and German. She ran her own private school in Portrush for many years and set herself high standards that students were expected to maintain. She was a good artist and could draw exceptionally well and wrote stories for children. Her carpentry was equally impressive. She made a wooden box for her father’s medals (and epaulettes) with a special glass front.  If you wanted to know more about Gertrude you had only to look at her handmade toolbox with each spotless instrument in its place positioned precisely.

Her attention to order in drawers and cupboards was extraordinary and when I would often tease her about the dust over every surface she replied that she did not mind the dust but everything had to be in its proper place. She knew every state in the US, the weather zones in the UK and the phone numbers of everyone she knew by heart. She was blessed with a fine mind and it never failed her not even to the last weeks of her life. Always clear, always articulate.

She kept us in the dark about her age, took 10 years off, and never received the Queen's card on turning a hundred. We all went on thinking of her as 10 years younger than she really was and she got away with this without any questions. The love of her life never returned from World War II and I often wondered if he had survived would she have gone on to have her own family and lead a completely different life? Wars take away so much from so many and even decades later loss and damage are still felt.

Gertrude always believed in the Big Bang Theory and felt that there was nothing after death. She wanted to believe there was an afterlife but could not rationally accept it. But she loved to hear others speak of heaven, to be assured of its existence and to have hope that she would meet those she had loved and lost in this life again. It is my prayer that she will be enjoying a reunion with her dearly loved father and other family and friends as well as her young lost love as we gather here to remember her and wish her well.

When our days are drawing to a close let us think of the eternal worlds, and we shall be full of joy!

‘Abdu’l-Bahá