It has been lovely having visitors in Malta. The island worked its magic and my mum’s lung infection healed in three days after having had three weeks of suffering in Northern Ireland. My mum and aunt are regular visitors, popping over in spring and autumn for usually three weeks. They are both over 80 full of energy and good humour. As we live in Sliema, they have instigated their own SAS style training. One day they will walk to George’s beach by far their favourite direction and the next day they head off to the Point and then around to the direction of the Black Pearl. They are creatures of habit and only stop twice. Once for ice cream and once for a large cappuccino. Walking from 11:30 AM to 4:30 PM is made more sustainable by regular bench stops and all their endeavours are fuelled by constant chat. You’d think after eighty years these two sisters would've said everything they had to say before now but even late at night they lie in bed laughing and reminiscing. Four years of such visits have become a lovely routine of life and they are touched by the huge ice creams served by the Maltese. “I like lots of ice cream”, my mum informs them. Huge towers of ice cream are obligingly constructed by easy-going shop assistants. There must be something about these two smiling ladies that brings out the goodness in most folk. But not all!!
This year their visit was somewhat marred by unexpected events and I feel duty-bound to expose them because I fear they are happening to other elderly in our communities. When walking at Saint Julians up the pavement from MacDonald's a young tall English man shouted, “Excuse me, Excuse me!” and pushed his way past as he raced through the crowds. My mother was shoved into a nearby wall and the damage to her forearm was considerable.
The Englishman didn't stop to see the fruits of his rudeness and was already pushing others ahead shouting “Excuse me, Excuse me!” I’d like to think that if he’d seen the painful results of his lack of manners, he would've been horrified at what his thoughtless action caused . I'd like to think that, but I'm not sure.
Later in the week I took my mum and aunt to Gozo and they loved the bus tour of the island. It was the return journey that caused challenges. Waiting for the 222 bus from the ferry to Sliema, a crowd of young people raced up and down the pavement next to the bus stop. They obviously felt that with the odd car/taxi parking in spots they would be better positioned to get a seat on the bus by being in the right place. So herds of people ran from to one spot to another only to move again when the cars/taxis cleared. Knowing my aunt and mother would not be able to stand for the whole bus journey I began to feel a frisson of fear. They suddenly seemed so much more vulnerable in this frenzy of activity. The bus came and the driver stopped almost in front of my aunt and mother. I was relieved to see my mother enter safely but within a few seconds a group of people surrounded us and with much pushing and shoving fought to get on the bus. My poor aunt was practically lifted off her feet by the press of the mob. Despite my best efforts to shield her, the momentum of the crowd pushing to get on board could not be held back. Shouts from the bus driver had no effect and my fear grew. My aunt was carried along by the crowd and was terrified and in some pain. The pressure only eased when two dozen of the most anxious to board had pushed past and grabbed seats. When I was able to follow her on board, all the seats including those for the elderly were taken. I found my mother seated and the seat beside her occupied by a large German man. Approaching him I asked if my aunt could sit beside my mother. He told me he was saving the seat for his wife who had yet to get on board the bus. I remonstrated with him that due to my aunt’s age she could not afford to stand all the way to Sliema. He replied in a determined fashion that his wife was 65 years old. I found myself in an awkward conversation with a complete stranger where I pointed out that an eighty-year-old should have priority over 60-year-olds. Reluctantly, he rose to allow my aunt to sit but sullenly and with great sighs of annoyance.
I know it is probably just me but do general everyday manners seem in short supply these days? Have the elderly among us become like canaries in the mine flagging up the toxic nature of society’s selfishness? I'm not sure where I'm going with this but surely society makes rules to protect the vulnerable, the young, the sick and the elderly. It does so because our civilisation is built on such principles. They are the bedrock of our society and speak of the priorities that should be in place for all members of the community. Bad manners undermine that foundation. The insidious selfishness that fuel such behaviour has to be tackled. All of us have to set ourselves higher standards. Acts of kindness fuel the same in others but harmful selfishness can also become endemic to a society. We must guard against such infection as it is a sign of spiritual illness and influences all who are its victims even those who observe it and come to see it as normal.
It reminded me of two seemingly unrelated incidents. I taught animal management for three years in a College in Northern Ireland. One lesson was on animal abuse and we covered the new legislation that if for example a dog is admitted to a vet's with clear signs of abuse there is an obligation for the vet to inform social services immediately. Why? Because there is now a known link between cruelty to dogs in a home and cruelty to children in the same home. The person who mistreats a pet will usually have no qualms about abusing children under their roof. In fact the link is so strong that authorities are using the treatment of pets to flag up those danger zones for children.
My second point was a neighbour of ours in Rhodes, Greece. He was an architect and he called at our door one evening as his mother-in-law had badly injured herself and he had decided to move her into his flat until she recovered. Unfortunately, they lived on the third floor and there was no lifts. He had called because he wondered if one of my sons could help him lift her up the stairs. My son Lewis, was delighted to oblige and only complained that their staircase steps were too small for his feet. It is hard having size 12 feet and being over six foot when you are only 14. This architect was involved in the tree planting association on the island and also would feed all the cats in the neighbourhood on a daily basis. My father teased him one day, watching him put out piles of dried cat food at the street corner while cats ran in great numbers from all directions. My father shouted from the balcony, "Well, you have earned your place in heaven!" To which the elderly architect replied with a smile, "perhaps I will be allowed in cat heaven anyway". The thing which shouldn't have surprised us was that the person who cared about the environment, cared about his family and about the animals in his neighbourhood also was kind to his neighbours.
These things have ever been linked. Just as our cruelty radiates out to all in our vicinity (including our pets) so too our inherent kindness illumines those we come into contact with. May you be that light for those around you.
"Words must be supported by deeds, for deeds are the true test of words."
It reminded me of two seemingly unrelated incidents. I taught animal management for three years in a College in Northern Ireland. One lesson was on animal abuse and we covered the new legislation that if for example a dog is admitted to a vet's with clear signs of abuse there is an obligation for the vet to inform social services immediately. Why? Because there is now a known link between cruelty to dogs in a home and cruelty to children in the same home. The person who mistreats a pet will usually have no qualms about abusing children under their roof. In fact the link is so strong that authorities are using the treatment of pets to flag up those danger zones for children.
My second point was a neighbour of ours in Rhodes, Greece. He was an architect and he called at our door one evening as his mother-in-law had badly injured herself and he had decided to move her into his flat until she recovered. Unfortunately, they lived on the third floor and there was no lifts. He had called because he wondered if one of my sons could help him lift her up the stairs. My son Lewis, was delighted to oblige and only complained that their staircase steps were too small for his feet. It is hard having size 12 feet and being over six foot when you are only 14. This architect was involved in the tree planting association on the island and also would feed all the cats in the neighbourhood on a daily basis. My father teased him one day, watching him put out piles of dried cat food at the street corner while cats ran in great numbers from all directions. My father shouted from the balcony, "Well, you have earned your place in heaven!" To which the elderly architect replied with a smile, "perhaps I will be allowed in cat heaven anyway". The thing which shouldn't have surprised us was that the person who cared about the environment, cared about his family and about the animals in his neighbourhood also was kind to his neighbours.
These things have ever been linked. Just as our cruelty radiates out to all in our vicinity (including our pets) so too our inherent kindness illumines those we come into contact with. May you be that light for those around you.
"Words must be supported by deeds, for deeds are the true test of words."
Baha'i Writings
